What Were You Like Before Menopause Started? Options

[Jo51]

Hello again everybody,
Thanks for the kind words Redfox and thanks to everyone else posting here that keeps me from feeling like I'm ready for the "looney bin!"
An update on the cataract front...I went to my opthomoligist appointment and I indeed have a catatact in BOTH eyes!
Doc said that surgery in my left should definitely be considered and possibly the right one after the left heals. The surgery is outpaitent with only something by mouth to help you relax and drops to numb your eye. Takes about 30 minutes. I know it needs to be done and I'm getting more use to the idea...just hope I can stay strong. I will go to get measured for the lens that they implant next Friday. I do want to go to my appointment with my GYN in March and perhaps go back to my GP to make sure that all these crazy things I'm experiencing are Meno and not something else...so tired of feeling this bad and not "like me," before I go for the surgery.
I don't think I mentioned that I don't have any kids and a wonderful husband that I couldn't do without that is very understanding and supprtive.
Man, I'm so hoping that I can go period free until October and really be in Menopause...I'm ready! Bring it on!"
Take care everyone and thanks again, Jo

[RedFox]

Hi Jo,

Good luck on the cataract surgery! I know you'll be just fine. It's a common procedure that has helped so many people. Those who have had it, have told me it's the best thing they could have done. Be sure to keep us posted!

RedFox

[Jo51]

Thanks RF! I will keep you posted!

[Jo51]

Jo51 -- nice to meet you, and sorry to hear of all the problems. About your ears, I too sometimes have pain in my ears, along with some dizziness and ringing at times, but I attribute the problem to sinuses. Usually, just taking a Sudafed works for me. I take that Sudafed PE, which doesn't have ephedrine in it -- the regular Sudafed gets me too wired!

Hope you're better.

RedFox

RedFox,
I just wanted to ask you how long the Sudafed usually takes to start working for you?
Thanks again, Jo

[RedFox]

Hi Jo,

The Sudafed PE (which contains phenylephrine hydrochloride, not ephedrine like regular Sudafed), only takes about 30-40 minutes before I feel relief, which usually involves clearing my nasal passages, elimination of the pain in my ear (usually just one side is affected) and elimination of that "sinus headache".

Like the regular Sudafed, it dries up your nasal passages. I've never actually had a sinus infection and like to think that taking a nasal decongestant prevents an infection. I know regular Sudafed can increase blood pressure, but I don't know if the Sudafed PE is completely safe. On the back of the box, it does contain a warning, "Ask a doctor if you have high blood pressure" (It names a few other conditions too).

Hope this helps, Jo!

RedFox

[Kayo]

Outside of the constant worry of bleeding thru everywhere I go, the thing that annoys me most is losing the ability to hide my emotions. I used to be pure stone, when I needed to be. As a nurse it was a good thing. Now I cry uncontrollably when I actually don't want to show any emotion. I hate that.

[CareBearsGrl]

"What Were You Like Before Menopause Started"



Sane

[NiteOwl]

I had so much more energy! I used to spring clean a room a week from around mid-February to mid April. I got a slow start last spring and only finished 3 rooms before I got pneumonia so that was it for the year. I haven't even started this spring because I am half afraid I will get everything emptied out of a room and not have the energy to finish putting everything back. I am working on the spare bedroom now so my oldest can move back in, but that may be as far as I get this year!

[Bigheart]

I also had lots more energy. Now I can't even climb one flight of steps without feeling like I am going to pass out. Also, I never worried about my health. Now I worry all the time that something is going to put me flat on my back. I had a carefree attitude, now I just have an attitude.



Patrice

[yepthatsme2]

Focused....knew exactly what I wanted, how I wanted it, and would go straight away at getting the prize I wished.

Was able to listen to a heart felt story...take it in and not break down in tears over the slightest thing.

Before, I didn't take the time to ponder ideas and thoughts...I just moved beyond... at a frenzied pace.

Ate anything and everything I wanted...candy, soda, processed foods...Big Macs, fries...hot dogs with chili and cheese...you get my drift.

Didn't exercise...now I walk miles, out in nature. Along my walks, I see people and animals and even take the time to stop and talk.

Didn't read the bible as much as I do now...or, spend as much time at home & with family as I did before.

Didn't spend anytime here at PS before...but, now I'm able to chat and interact with wonderful ladies who share and care... about our changing time of life.

I'm more centered and focused now...

Yep

[mega]

Dearest:
I am so glad to find this site. You have no idea. The doctors don't always have the time or experience to advise you. I don't really want to bring this up a lot with my friends and be a whiner or complainer. I do talk to my friends a little, but I find myself trying to have a sense of humor about life and menopause.

I look at my life now and wonder how I ever got through everything. How did I ever have the energy to work fulltime(and overtime!), one time working two jobs, being married, maintaining a household, husband, and raising two children.

I used to have more energy. Now I want to sleep 9-10 hours a night. I used to be a sex goddess. Now I can take it or leave it. I used to do everything for the job or the family - now I feel really selfish about my free time. I used to have really bad PMS - sometimes the screaming mommy from hell 2-3 days before my period. When I felt very fatigued and out of resources - then my family would seem to be the most demanding and difficult - which sent me over the edge. Now I am calmer - my children are out of the house, I get more rest, more "me" time, and my "happy" pill takes the edge off as well.

The Best thing now is that I am excited by life. I started taking painting lessonsabout 6 years ago when I was 45. I have always wanted to paint. About the same time I was having major conflict with my then 15 year old daughter. My husband and I went for counseling. I had a lot of stress and depression and went on medication - which helped a lot. I also started having heavier periods, less sex drive. Periods became more irregular. My weight went up slowly over the last 10-15 years and it has been difficult to lose weight.

The woman I was 20 years ago was 35 lbs. lighter, 20/20 vision, better muscle tone and stamina. I had two very young daughters and a great husband. I still have the great husband and incredibly intelligent and beautiful twenty-something daughters. Change is inevitable. Sometimes I feel a little blue but in general I am quite happy with my life.

[menodistressed]

i hope i'm doing this correctly, i am 52 years old, i had a hysterectomy 9 years ago but left my ovaries (big mistake). i have 4 kids, (3 in college) twin boys 23, daughter 21 and a son 16. my mother in law has alzheimers, my mother suffered severe post partum depression when i was born and has continually battled mental illness her whole life, my brother has washed his hands of helping with my mother. i have always been the rock that got everything done and took care of everything for everyone. up until november 2005, i was unstoppable, then i had a friend that died and my mother decided to have an operation that i felt was unnecessary and would jeaporidize her stability. Then i woke up one day, had no energy, my blood pressure and pulse went up from 116/70 to 150/100 and my pulse jumped to 112. i began having night sweats so bad that the sheets were drenched. i went to my husbands cardiologist, he put me on topral, this brought my bp down but i started having pulsitive tinitus in my ears. i went to an ENT he did an MRI, MRA, CAT scan - everything was perfect. i had an asthma attack, the asthma dr told me to get off the topral, the cardiologist switched me to verapamil - i had a huge reaction to it so he switched me to atenalol. i went back for a check up my bp was 175/125. he said my bp was anxiety and stress related and until i could get those two things under control my bp was going to remain a problem. NO ONE EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HORMONES OR MENOPAUSE i went to my GYN he never mentioned menopause, i then went to my family dr and had blood work done to check my hormones, he said the test was inconclusive but he would give me a low dose of premarin, i told him i didn't want premarin, i wanted the patch - he would not prescribe it. i took the blood results and faxed them to my GYN he said i was menopausal and called me in a patch. (you know the one size fits all doctor) i continued to slide downhill with anxiety, crying all the time, depression - nothing seemed to help - i read book and after book trying to educate myself, i did a saliva test got those results and finally ended up at a psychologists office, she put me on xanax, zoloft, and ambien cr. the zoloft made me so sick and the dr refused to change the medicine so i just lived on xanax. my emotions were a wreck, i had a fear of everything and lived by what iffing myself to death . in the mean time a friend told me i needed to see her doctor that deals ONLY with menopause. i went there the end of February. they drew 8 vials of blood. they immediately increased my patch to .075 put me on 100 mg prometrium and when the results of my blood work was in they put me on compounded
15 mg dhea (i basically had no testosterone in my body and had adrenal fatigue). they have increased my prometrium to 200 mg per day and tried to increase the dhea but it was to much. they put me on lexapro a week ago (1/2 tablet 5 mg) it has helped. but i still cry almost every day and look so forward to the end of the day so i can go in my room, shut the door, and be left alone - i don't want to do anything. the ringing in my ears is still there and if it were not for the xanax i would probably go nuts. i just had no idea of what was happening and for the first time in my life there is no instant fix and i am an instant results person. i'm crying just writing this because i just want my life back, my energy back, the hardest thing has been having my kids see me go through this - and i worry that it is effecting their school life, they call me every day to check on me - last week end was moms day at the University of Oklahoma and it took everything i had to go there for 3 hours. when does it end????? i just feel like i'm on this roller coaster that never stops and i want off - i hate roller coasters!!

[che che]

Hi Menodistressed,

Welcome,You came to the right place...You are not going crazy and your not dieing...I know ..I felt that way too before I came to PS.

keep reading all of the helpful info here at PS and keep posting.As you search the site you will soon see your not alone.

Just knowing you are not crazy and that its all hormonal will give you peace of mind and put things back in perspective.

Don't be so hard on yourself....This will even out

You take care,
Hugs,
Lynda

[plainsheilaj]

It's such a breath of fresh air to read all these stories and know that I'm not (or more accurately at this time of my life, was) the only one to be going through this. The hysteria is normal, what a concept! Although I'm experiencing a bit of an unexpected complication right now -- more on that in another thread -- I guess the biggest differences before the change were my energy and sex drives. Hubby and I raised our 3 boys, went to our jobs, paid our bills, did work on our house, took care of our parents and siblings, all the things you just do and pay no mind to while you do them. Then the last of our kids started college pretty far away and we were able to find time to really do things with the only intention of spending time together and enriching ourselves. Like back when we met in college (long long ago). It was very refreshing for a while. Since that time, as my body has changed, I find I need a lot more rest. I also have to be very attuned to my dietary and vitamin needs, more so than when I was pregnant in a way. And that bedroom activity? Maybe it's a good thing we're both needing more sleep these days ...

[alice3]

Pre meno - liked to read mags about houses, decorating etc- now I shut the door on the room . I now read Psychologies magazine instead!

[rendy]

Before, I worked, took care of the family, loved to cook, went back to school. I had time to fit it all in because I enjoyed it all. Although I was busy, I really felt like I was finally hitting my stride. Sure I got anxious and depressed at times but there were reasons.

Now, I sit here at home with my heart beating fast, feeling scared to death - of what? Nothing! So my mind searches for things to be scared of - I'm a logical person, right? My arms shake, my heart races, I'm hot, I'm cold and I feel sick to my stomach most of the day. I even have to be careful at what I watch on TV because so many things make me cry. I can't imagine this going on for years more!

I also don't talk about this much as I don't like to be a burden or make people worry about me. Here at least I can let it out and be among kindred suffers. Thanks

[che che]

Boy...i had to really sit and think about this because there is so much different.I'm no longer the same person....it was like i was stolen in the middle of the night...never to be found.

Boy i miss that person...I really don't know this one...we're still getting acquainted.I'm not sure i like her yet, there is still lots of kinks to work out....lots...LOL.

I think i miss everything i used to be....Ill let you all know as i find out if i like this new person...in this new outlook on life.....can i get back to you on this

All i can say is thank you all for being here during this strange metamorphosis

hugs,
Lynda

[arla]

I was such an easy going, carefree person who hardly ever got angry. Now all I do is stress over my health and worry about everything under the sun and flip is my new middle name. I'm just hoping when things calm down that I can still find a trace of who I used to be because I liked that person a LOT better.

[superflower]

I just celebrated my 46th birthday yesterday, and it did get me to think of how I was before all this
started. I had ambition, energy, I was able to focus on dozens of things at a time. No shortness of
breath , no heart palpatations, no dizziness. I was 30 lbs. lighter and didn't have a buddah belly. I would
look in the mirror and not get depressed at what I saw. Oh, and speaking of depression and anxiety,
didn't have those either.

All I can say is thank God for all you ladies and bless Dearest for creating this site, because it has
kept me from just throwing in the towel and giving up. I do have hope that it will get better for all of
us!



Lots of love,

superflower

[Kleeo]

I was such an easy going, carefree person who hardly ever got angry. Now all I do is stress over my health and worry about everything under the sun and flip is my new middle name. I'm just hoping when things calm down that I can still find a trace of who I used to be because I liked that person a LOT better.

I had to chuckle when I read the part about 'flip' being your middle name. I told my friend at work today that I'm going to change my name to Cybill. Because that's exactly who I feel like! NEVER know what will come out of my mouth or how I'm going to act! It's almost humiliating sometimes. I hardly know the person I've become, and feeling good is DEFINITELY a thing of the past. Whoever nicknamed menopause the "Curse" sure knew what they were talking about. It s*cks.
Hugs!

[CareBearsGrl]

{{{{{{{superflower}}}}}}}}


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!



(((Hugs)))
Christina

[arla]

Kleeo, I can totally relate to this. I am also afraid to open my mouth at times and when I do I just keep wondering why I'm saying what I am - it's like I just have no control over what is coming out. It is this out of control feeling that I think is the worse.

[new to game]

Have to chime in here...

I totally agree w/ not recognizing myself! Also used to be an easy going, rational, confident person. Not totally carefree, but feeling like I had a sense of what was going on, particularly regarding my body/health.

Now, every day it's a different channel and always w/ this underlying anxiety hovering around. Somedays I'm irritable or weepy or bit@hy or forgetful. I have crampy days w/ spotting & irregular periods too [28 days then 31 days, now 23]. Exercise makes me feel weak and sickly, not refreshed! That one really frosts me...

...And then I notice I'm complaining all the time, like right now! [sorry ]

Read here that anxiety is one of the earlier symptoms. Hoping that since periods are all over the map, maybe am moving along to middle symptoms? No one really knows as we're all so different. But man, I REALLY appreciate having this site to vent... Not all my friends are peri and some don't get this stuff at all. [Ignorance IS bliss, I say! ]

Thanks for listening to my rant,
new

[suzpaterson]

I have to say that I can't really remember what I was like before this confusing and nightmarish time in my life. I think I have been peri-menopausal for so long...and then before that I PMS'd alot. It's been a good five years anyway I have to say of irritability, poor sleeping patterns, mood swings, instability and now the anxiety. I have read here that anxiety is an early symptom, that wasn't the case for me. I probably have a few years more to go because my mother was a late menopauser; so I never leave home without my Valerian. I find it really helps me if I am feeling anxious or stressed out. I only take it if I am feeling that way because otherwise I will get that tired feeling and who needs that during the day! I also exercise too which helps for my symptoms. I don't love exercising either but I know that it is good for me so I bite the bullet and just do it as Nike says.

Suzanne

[Snugglepot]

Hi to all of you. I wish I had found this board years ago.

Prior to peri/menopause I was happy and content, with no reason to visit the doctor. I very rarely suffered from PMS then IT arrived.

Menopause has been a long haul, about ten years so far and I don't think I'm out of the woods yet. I now have to take medication to control my blood pressure. I have gained weight mostly around my middle, which is proving very difficult to lose, in spite of knocking myself out at the gym and watching what I eat.

On the up side, now I can say no without feeling guilty and the only people I justify my actions to are those who matter, not like I was prior to menopause.

The panic attacks, hot flushes have come and, hopefully, gone, but I'm left feeling very flat. I would dearly love to feel "normal" again. HRT is not an option.

Best wishes to all.
Snuggles

[alice3]

That sums it up for me too Snuggles...flat (and fat). My current symptom is very limited energy. If only I could go out and do things at the drop of a hat then I would cope with this better but if i plan I get anxious, take a Natracalm and feel too tired to do it.

[Snugglepot]

Hi to all of you. I wish I had found this board years ago.

Prior to peri/menopause I was happy and content, with no reason to visit the doctor. I very rarely suffered from PMS then IT arrived.

Menopause has been a long haul, about ten years so far and I don't think I'm out of the woods yet. I now have to take medication to control my blood pressure. I have gained weight mostly around my middle, which is proving very difficult to lose, in spite of knocking myself out at the gym and watching what I eat.

On the up side, now I can say no without feeling guilty and the only people I justify my actions to are those who matter, not like I was prior to menopause.

The panic attacks, hot flushes have come and, hopefully, gone, but I'm left feeling very flat. I would dearly love to feel "normal" again. HRT is not an option.

Best wishes to all.
Snuggles

Hi Alice

I also felt very tired at one stage. It was very difficult to cope at the time and thought I would not be able to continue working. I managed to bluff my way through and got over it.

Hang in there, it will get better.

Snuggles

[hopeful52]

I have to say that I also can barely remember what I was before perimenopause. I do remember one thing, though -- my complete trust in the medical profession. Now, maybe because so much more info is available on the internet but also because of my own experiences with doctors who think perimeopause is non-existent, I stay out of the doctor's office unless it can't be avoided. And when I go, I am very careful of what I say.

Like someone else said, too, I don't try to justify my actions to anyone except people who matter, which is different than how I was before.

In a wierd way, I think I'm stronger now, if only I could finally be done with these crappy symptoms so I could get on with my life!

[vev]

Before perimenopause I could take my
daily walk, without sobbing. This has
improved somewhat, but...........
I also resumed drinking after a 10 yrs,
of sobriety 2 years ago. I generally
just have 2, but being a problem
drinker, I have crossed the line.
I use to read several books a week,
now my head reels in anxiety, which
doesn't do much for the concentration.
I've always been somewhat moody and
anxious, but this is an entirely different
spectrum. My premenstrum was always
pretty rocky, which I believe also factors
into a rough peri.
I worked in sales years ago, but
would be incapable of doing that
these days.
I'm rather having a identity crisis!!!!lol

I'm with you....I can't walk without sobbing either---what the heck is that about? I also have found that drinking at least takes that incredible feeling of sadness and anxiety away for awhile. Right now I'm trying so hard not to alienate everyone around me. sometimes I think it's all in my head, sometimes people say "why are you acting like that?" and I think "like what?"
ugh, this s*cks!

Before perimenopause I could take my
daily walk, without sobbing. This has
improved somewhat, but...........
I also resumed drinking after a 10 yrs,
of sobriety 2 years ago. I generally
just have 2, but being a problem
drinker, I have crossed the line.
I use to read several books a week,
now my head reels in anxiety, which
doesn't do much for the concentration.
I've always been somewhat moody and
anxious, but this is an entirely different
spectrum. My premenstrum was always
pretty rocky, which I believe also factors
into a rough peri.
I worked in sales years ago, but
would be incapable of doing that
these days.
I'm rather having a identity crisis!!!!lol

[vev]

Yeah, I can't really remember either---I think I was a lot calmer. Now there are days when I want to rip people's heads off just for saying hello! I'm like two people, and one of them I don't like very much. However, I am seeing a homeopathic doctor who says that my anger etc are very normal and that since we live in a man's world we are made to feel like we are crazy people instead of realizing that this is a normal transition and that it's okay for us to feel this way (even the rage!). I liked that because I find I have to keep reminding myself that this is NORMAL... even if I don't feel very normal. It helps me figure out coping skills for one thing. It makes me think through things when I'm feeling out-of-sorts or angry. I also found it helps to talk to other people---my best friend is a guy and I often sit down and say "okay, this is what menopause is all about, this is why I'm acting this way." Luckily, he listens. Meanwhile my husband treats me with humor and that helps too.
And I'm with you---exercise is a good one to help out . And eating right (when I crave chocolate, sugar, starch, salt, alcohol etc). I know I can't stop what's happening but I figure if I accept it and learn coping mechanisms at least I'll feel SOME semblance of control. Isn't that what it's about in the end? The feeling that we've lost control. So, more power to you, Suzanne.

I have to say that I can't really remember what I was like before this confusing and nightmarish time in my life. I think I have been peri-menopausal for so long...and then before that I PMS'd alot. It's been a good five years anyway I have to say of irritability, poor sleeping patterns, mood swings, instability and now the anxiety. I have read here that anxiety is an early symptom, that wasn't the case for me. I probably have a few years more to go because my mother was a late menopauser; so I never leave home without my Valerian. I find it really helps me if I am feeling anxious or stressed out. I only take it if I am feeling that way because otherwise I will get that tired feeling and who needs that during the day! I also exercise too which helps for my symptoms. I don't love exercising either but I know that it is good for me so I bite the bullet and just do it as Nike says.

Suzanne

That whole crying thing is for the birds! It happens to me too. I always feel like an idiot!
As for the bleeding I tell people it's like having ebola. Here's a bleeding horror story---I was performing in a concert and during intermission (I was next up to sing) I went in the bathroom and found I was bleeding like crazy. Luckily someone had supplies (because I sure didn't).

Outside of the constant worry of bleeding thru everywhere I go, the thing that annoys me most is losing the ability to hide my emotions. I used to be pure stone, when I needed to be. As a nurse it was a good thing. Now I cry uncontrollably when I actually don't want to show any emotion. I hate that.