What Were You Like Before Menopause Started? Options

[Ramella]

Hello, I posted a introduction. I am so happy I found this site, I have been in a very bad way for many months. The medicine I am taking is not working and it has made me worse, so I am praying very hard for the courage to cope and get better. I have panic attacks with depression, the two antidepressants I have tried have been ineffective also therapy did not work, the therapist told me I was "too anxious to benefit from EMDR therapy" and "challenging" she never phoned be back after a few sessions so that really effected me. I wake every morning shaking with fear and it goes on for hours, then I cry at night because I am so drained from the fear and panic, sometimes at night when I pray I feel normal but it always returns the day after, I have a special-needs son that needs me to be strong, my husband is so frustrated and mad and my family and friends avoid me they pretty much told me to "call when I am better" I realize this is hard for them but it hurts to be shunned like this. I am very worried I have become accidently pregnant, I had a pregnancy scare in Feb and that is what started this terrible cycle of fear worry panic and depresssion, along with heavy periods and chemical and hormonal changes. I use the rythm method along with contraceptive foam [my husband refuses to wear condoms which makes me so upset} Perhaps you all can help me quell this fear, because along with the panic and depression its causing me chest pain and great anxiety, I had relations with my husband on Saturday night, Sunday morning my monthly started it was a few days early, I bled heavy for 3 days as usual, on Wed morning I woke up and discovered "very fertile mucus" like when I ovulate, this stunned me, I always ovulate shortly after my monthly, but never at the tail end of it , I was actually still bleeding a little with the fertile mucus, which never happened!? Now with my anxiety and worry I have convinced myself I am pregnant, I know sperm can live in the body for 5 days, I used foam but I am still scared I was not supposed to ovulate for 4 more days. When I was month late in Feb/March I was not pregnant, my cycle was just changing because of the perimenopause, people were horrid to me, all I heard was "down-syndromes baby" "deformed child" and "you have to have a termination because of your age" my husband almost left me! My question is its probably very hard for a 45 year old woman to have a child or get pregnant isn't it? I love children but with the medicine, my panic and depression, a special-needs child and a husband who is never here, this would be awful, I know I could never handle it, I am so afraid I am pregnant, I just hope this is just part of my anxiety, if I had not ovulated early this fear would of never entered my mind, the time frame was so close, I used protection but I know that can fail, do women still release eggs at 45? I have heard if they do they are mostly defective, and the foam could damage it further, I hope I have not offended anyone with this topic, I have tried to be as tasteful as possible, my own DOctor said back in Feb, "if you are do not call me, and no OB-GYN will touch you" The very LAST thing I need is a change of life pregnancy right now, if I was stronger I could do it and not a panic attack, depressed mess, I cry every night because I feel so weak and ashamed, I worry about cancer and dying, and leaving my son, I wish I could find the help or medicine I need, all the medicines do not work and cause terrible side effects, is there light at the end of the tunnel for me, does anyone else think they are dying every day?? I hate living like this, I am no use to anyone. I am sorry this is so long, I hope I have not bothered anyone, I have no family or friends to turn too, thank you for any advice and prayers. God bless you all, Ramella.

[barbra]

Ramella

I am sorry you are feeling so badly...and yes I have felt the exact same way you are describing right now....this went on for months and I still have the anxiety and depression but are starting to get better....but I have had all the fears you have and still do..they are just not as intense at the moment..but I am on a medication right now which I think may help me alot..certainly hope so..the fear and panic and crying are just horrible honey..I know.......I would think it would be very hard to get pregnant at this age...however not impossible...please dont worry yourself sick over it...I am also 45 so I totally understand your fear of pregnancy. I do beleive this will all get better with time....hang in there...feel free to pm me anytime you just need someone to bounce stuff off of......take care...and just know it will get better!.........


barbra

[greenie]

Ramella,

Hang in there! Sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Wow, I can't believe that therapist lady was such a wench to you! Please, try to find a counselor who knows about perimenopause, and who does Cognative Behavioral Therapy. It might take a while and a few tries to find someone, but you deserve a counselor who is understanding, compassionate, and believes in you.

As far as birth control goes, have you considered using a diaphragm? It might be more reliable than using foam with the rhythm method. You need a "prescription" from a doctor who will fit you with the right size.

As far as the anti-depressants, if they're not working for you, there may be other options. Do you have a doctor who is knowledgable about perimenopause? Is there a menopause specialist in your area? Perhaps you could benefit from some bioidentical progesterone? If you search this site, you'll find info on Pete the Pharmacist at Belleview Pharmacy. They can test your hormone levels and figure out what mixture of bioidentical hormone replacement might help you with some of your symptoms.

Don't give up! You are your own best advocate when it comes to your health care. If someone who is supposed to help you isn't helping you, then move on and find a new doctor, counselor, etc. And remember, you are not alone!

[Ramella]

Thank you Barbara and rsgreen for your warm compassionate replies. I foolishly thought that one day in my forties or fifties I would just taper off and stop bleeding, what a shock to know that that does not happen. All this anxiety and panic did come back when I had two periods in Feb and then skipped in March, now I bleed heavily, its the depression that is scary and the "health anxiety" I actually ran to the ER twice thinking I was dying, and called the parmedics once, I feel I have made a fool of myself, I cannot get a handle on this panic and depression, medicines are not working and I feel pretty hopeless, I am glad I found this site because people in my life are NOT supportive, in fact they are pretty mad at me because of the way I am acting. I am praying to feel better and function better, this pregnancy scare has got me in a whirlwind, I know the risks and it would not be good, I always wanted a daughter {I have a son} but I feel my time has passed and I am in no way emotionally physical or mentally stable right now to carry one, its just one more worry to add to my list! My sister tells me I must "think positive" its the key to being healthy and happy again, but easier said than done. Thank you again for your compassion and caring, I am glad I found this site. God bless, Ramella.

[rendy]

Ramella,

You are not alone. I felt the same way when this started 6 months ago. I also assumed I would get a few hot flashes and such but nothing like the severe anxiety and fear I have experienced.

A therapist specialized in cognitive based therapy helped me a great deal. So did a gynecologist who understood menopause. I don't know if this is an option but birth control pills can help the peri symptoms as well as the obvious other benefit.

I did not think my family would be supportive but after they understood that this was menopause and that it was a natural phase to go through they were very understanding. It is important that you know you are not going crazy.

Please, search through all of this site. There is wonderful advice, book recommendations and experts you can email.

[DaMomma]

Ramella,...hey now, Im gonna point something out to you ok...you were not being FOOLISH in thinking it would all taper off. A fool is someone who knows better yet still continues to do it and doesnt care of the outcome...you were "ignorant" of the facts..(ignorant is not knowing) BIG DIFFERENCE hun...okay?

I ditto about getting Cognitive Behavior Therapy...it has helped me TREMINDOUSLY as well...sometimes by talkin with the gals on here and my 2 older ones and also my BF...helps me with the "Stinking Thinking"...(remember I was telling you about this earlier..the what ifs...the coulda , wouldas, and shouldas...) They understand this ,.. if this is possible for you and you if have insurance to help..call a mental health clinic..and ask if they have any trained counselors in this...and if you dont have the insurances..there are therapist that will charge on a sliding fee scale as well..

Get knowledge hun, and pray for understanding and the wisdom on how to apply it too..Ask questions and* a biggie here...please dont feel or allow yourself to think you dont have anything to offer to anyone else on here...jump in too,...okay?!

[Ramella]

Thank you DaMomma and Rendy, I have heard many good things about CBT, I would rather try that than the meds since they have not worked and the side effects have been so brutal. I have a psych Doctor appt tommarow evening, I heard he does CBT, I was reluctant to see a man but I could not find a woman psych Doctor nearby, I am nervous but I need to do something.

I have thought alot about the "stinking thinking" DaMomma, this disorder really makes you negative I know I am tryin to work on that right now, I most probably need a good GYN and the salivia test as you and Che Che have told me.

I am so happy I found this site, the women are fantastic, I believe it was a godsent. Thank you, Ramella

[kassie]

Hi everyone,

I am new on here and also posted an intro. I hope I am doing this all right.

I just turned 50 in Nov. I cannot believe it. I get a sick feeling when I think about it. I have a just turned 26 yr. old son and an 11 yr. old daughter. I have 2 grandchildren. Besides all of them I hate just about everything else about my life. Or yes, I also have a husband.

[joliejacq]

Hi Kassie,

and welcome to Power-Surge...

I have IBS, and sometimes have the sense you talk about, of taking only a couple bites and feeling full.

Have you talked to your doctor? It's worth running this past him/her, because it can also signal something going on with the ovaries.

IBS symptoms also include alternating constipation/diarrhea (FUN), and low stomach pain.

Hope you get some relief soon.

JJ

[kassie]

Hi JJ,

Thanks for the welcome.

I do have constipation almost constantly and diarhea sometimes. I was also diagnosed with reflux and a fibroid on my uterus a couple of yrs. ago. He also told me I had cysts on my ovaries but said that was normal.

I recently had a pap and it was ok. He wanted me to have blood tests to test thyroid and hormones and also an ultrasound to see about the fibroid. The problem is that I do not have insurance so I can't do that right now.

I feel like I am dying with some kind of disease. Most of the time I have so much anxiety. A lot of times I just pace the floor. I just don't know what else to do. I can't sleep good, hurt all over, have the "unreal " feelings and many other symptoms.

This is my third severe episode. The first two came after I had my children. The first time I had panic attacks and anxiety. The second time I had mostly severe anxiety. I tried different antidepressants which I had some bad side affects. So I just quit trying with them. In between these two times I did recover a lot but never fully. It was about 14 yrs. between the first two times. And about 12 yrs. between the last time until now.

I just turned 50 in Nov. and I know that some of this has to be peri. My periods are irregular. I skip months. I am just so scared with all these hideous feelings. I just can't believe this is happening to me. I feel like a totally different person. Like a zombie most of the time. I cannot breathe or sleep good. I feel like I am going to lose my mind.

I know that peri. can make you feel all kinds of feelings but the trouble breathing? This really scares me. I had a pulmonary test prob. about 5 or 6 yrs ago and they said there was nothing wrong.

Sorry to go on and on so much. I am just scared and do not know what to think.

Thanks for listening,
Kassie

[Jenilou]

Kassie,

I've suffered with PMS all my life, and I too was very ill after the birth of my two kids by caesarian, due to a small pelvis. After the first one I got terrible dizzy spells. They were so bad I thought I had a brain tumour or something, and I would have to get on the floor and lie down until they passed. It lasted for 14 months and then subsided. This was accompanied by depression and anxiety, but I got through it.

After my daughter was born though, I was really ill, much worse than before. It went on for over two years and what has blown me away is how similar the symptoms were to much of what is described on this board as peri symptoms. Panic attacks and agrophobia, feelings of unreality, that weird feeling that everything was crooked, (even the floors etc were on a slant), terrible tinnitus and noises in the ears, and that terrifying internal shaking which made it all but impossible to sleep at night. Even though I had been small throughout the pregnancy I gained a lot of weight afterwards, was very puffed up and bloated, and I also got hot flashes, and I had trouble catching my breath and would get breathless just crossing the room.

The symptoms are just so similar to those of peri, and for me anyway I have taken comfort from that. From what I have read here, much of the initial distress is caused by people wondering what in hell is happening to them. For you and I, (and others I daresay) the fact that we had post natal illness, at least means we know that what's happening to us now is a) it's hormonal and we got through it before, so we can darn well do it again. At least that's how I'm looking at it.

I really feel sorry for those who have never experienced anything like this before and then wham, out of the blue, it hits. Although it was hell to live through at the time, I did come through the PNI (as did you) and eventually got back to normality, and I am taking a lot of strength from that

This devil has got a name - Peri. It's caused by hormonal and chemical imbalances in the body, just the same as all those other horrors like PMS and PNI that us women have to contend with throughout our reproductive lives. When the hormones go out of whack, it can be terrifying ... a range of physical symptoms from vertigo to being unable to breathe, from crippling headaches to internal tremors. From drenching nightsweats to agrophobia. We are convinced there is something terribly wrong with our hearts, our brains, all kinds of imaginery and terrifying ailments because the symptoms are just so scary .... so we go for all kinds of tests and treatments to no avail. The bewilderment and fear while all this is going on just magnify everything and make it 10 times worse. Welcome to the world of peri menopause.

Ok so now we know what it is, that for me takes away a lot of the fear. So what to do? Well apart from reading every darn thing I can lay hands on about all this malarky, I am going to try and do everything I can to help myself through it. That means being as informed and well equipped as I can to tackle this mighty challenge. I can't run away and hide .. it's here and I've got to deal with it, so I'm going to try and do the best job I can.

I believe your breathing problems are caused by your severe anxiety, and if you read up on the mechanics of shallow breathing through the freeze/flight/fight response you will see how this is caused. Just read everything you possibly can Kassie. These boards alone are a wealth of information and insight, and I have learned so much in the few days I have been here. There are also numerous resources on the web, your library, women's groups ..etc.

For me ... it has meant a real commitment to yoga and meditation (which has helped no end with the anxiety and depression) regular physical workouts, improving my diet 10 fold. Junk food and booze are out - fresh, unprocessed foods, soy, lots of water and supplements are in. Accepting my limitations, getting rid of toxic people and situations and for the first time in my life being 'selfish' i.e. finding the ability to say 'No'.

I can't say it's a picnic every day but I feel 50 times better than I did. Stronger, more focused mentally, the symptoms have lessened significantly and the depression and anxiety have all but disappeared. My negative, fearful outlook has turned to a much more positive focused one. Ok well I'm getting older (I too am 50 this year), but it doesn't mean I have to roll over and die! My attitude now is 'bring it on'. Let's get this thing done and dusted!

Sorry to ramble on so long,but your post hit a chord with me because of the PNI and the breathing thing. Anyway, good luck and take care

x

[kassie]

Jenilou,

Thanks so much for your response. I appreciate it.

Well, here I sit at the computer, feeling like I am going to just die of whatever is going on in my body. Especially in my chest and lungs. I can take some of the symptoms, but some of them are really getting to me. I feel like I am turning to stone from my neck down to my legs. I know that does not make any sense. I wish I could write down exactly what I am feeling.

I can't keep my eyes open hardly, but I sit here and fight sleep dreading to go to bed because I either suddenly wake up because I feel as though I am loosing my breath, or as soon as I go to bed I am wide awake and have trouble going to sleep.

You are right about so many things. It feels like fear is swallowing me up. If I could only get some tests to rule out some diseases I know I would feel some better. That would put my mind at ease somewhat but that is impossible right now.

I wish I could have a better attitude like you, but I don't right now. I am going to try to get informed and change somethings. I have already started taking walks again. At least that is a start.

I hope tomorrow is better than today has been. Because today has been the pits.

Take care,
Kassie

[Jenilou]

Awww Kassie.

I honestly do know how you feel, as do so many of the women who post here. It's terrifying.

I know it seems all but impossible to think that hormones alone could cause all this, and it is perfectly natural to want to get checked out.

I remember when I was ill after my daughter was born, I kept feeling like I was going to fall over. It was so weird ... everything was crooked somehow, and I felt like I was tipping all the time. I used to stand in a weird way with my legs apart, and try and hold my head straight. When I changed the chidren's nappies I couldn't even lean forward to do it, but would stand straight upright and try and do it without looking down.

Then on top of this I developed the most horrendous pain in my lower back. It was excruciating. I had never known a pain like it, even when I was pregnant. I was convinced they had damaged my spine when they gave me the epidural (I had caesarians). I kept going back to the doc's, had x rays, chiropractor, heavy duty pain killers which did absolutely nothing. The pain was relentless, and I was utterly convinced that there was something serious going on.

Then I saw a female locum and she took one look at me and said 'I believe the back pain is caused by your anxiety'. I was outraged. There was no way this dreadful pain was all in my head which was effectively what she was saying. Her theory was that the anxiety and the feeling of tipping over were causing me to stand in a totally unnatural way and it was causing all the muscles in my back to spasm - hence the pain.

She focused on treating the PNI and as my anxiety and the other symptoms lessened, the back pain miraculousy disappeared and has never returned.

Hormones - oestrogen, progesterone, not to mention the stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline ... can play absolute havoc with our bodies. There is barely an organ or human bodily function that cannot be adversely affected by them when they are out of whack, from bowels, to gastric function, from thoughts and emotions to headaches.

Take care of yourself. It will get better I promise.

x

[alice3]

Yes I agree with Jennilou. It's an anxiety thing. I've suffered from it too and I have absolutely nothing in my life to be anxious for! I've had two horrible years of this, and there have been times when I couldn't leave the house. I haven't been on holiday for two years or is it three? I hope to be able to go this year but may have to take some help with me!

I haven't had a period since June (I have gone 11 months before without one) and am currently going through a sciatica phase Yes, it truly s*cks!

[joliejacq]

Alice,

So sorry to hear you're dealing with sciatica! As if the peri stuff isn't enough...

Hope this eases up soon.

JJ

[kassie]

Jenilou,

I also have the back pain. I had epidurals with both my children. I had a c-section with the first child. I never hardly ever relax. When I am not walking the floors I sit stiff and tense. I feel like I can't relax. Especially my shoulders. I am trying. A lot of times I even eat while standing up. I know I am sooooo weird.

Yes, I am terrified a lot of the time with the breathing and bloating symptoms. And it feels like I am loosing my hearing. I have all kinds of ringing and noises in my head and lately it feels like my ears are stopping up or something. Just another thing to worry about!

Thanks for your response, it helps a lot to be able to talk about it.

Alice3,

Thanks for your response, also. I have, in the past, had difficulty driving and going places by my self. But I forced myself to go because I felt like I could not stand to be at home by myself since my husband worked nights. And right now it seems like I have to get out and go somewhere instead of walking the floors here. So, I have never been to the place where I was stuck at home. I do not know if that is good or bad. Yes, I do....NONE of it is good.

I keep skipping periods. I will have one and then I will skip two or three months. I am going on my third month right now. But I always feel like I am on a period.

JJ,

Just saw your post. Thanks. What is sciatica? Alice3 also mentioned this.

Take care,
Kassie

[jan02]

Kassie
I know exactly how you feel with the breathing, I too feel that it is an effort to breathe. Everytime I get to grips with a symptom another one pops up.
I wish at the moment there was one day when I felt normal.
I am so grateful for Powersurge, it makes it seem normal when I read about everyone else.

Jan

[alice3]

Hi Kassie, sciatica is caused by pain from the sciatic nerve I think. What it feels like is two lengths of overtight elastic joined from your lower back, down the back of your legs and to the back of your ankles and your evil twin is tightening it more and more Well that didn't come from a medical dictionary but that's how it feels. You cannot get comfortable at all and because you change your posture it makes the pain worse

[Fina]

Geez- My body sure as heck didn't ache as much! Every morning there's a new pang somewhere. A few years back after many compaints of low blood sugar, thyroid, gaining weight- several doctors told me- "oh- you're too young to be going through this!" Well bully on them- I know my body! Now at 47 -Oh baby- I am in the bubbling pot! But yet at the same time I feel that POWER I had when I was teenager- without all the major insecurities- mmm... I certainly speak my mind these days! How ignorant I was- I thought you just stopped getting your period and life was FREE from then on in. Did women not talk about this before?
I now long for that regualr cycle- everything was so predictable- now - the roller coaster ride is not always fun. I find myself having lots of flashbacks to my childhood- anyone else experiencing this?
fina

[joliejacq]

Hi Fina,

And welcome to Power-Surge! Sounds like your attitude about all this is great!

It's not easy to be handling the physical stuff (you're right, no one warned us!), but you can wisely acknowledge the increased sense of who we are, and the tendency to be reflective, and think about our early years. So many of us have felt that, and discussed it here on Power-Surge.

We're in the "bubbling pot" with you!

JJ

[Jo51]

Hello everyone,
First off, I'd like to say that I have been "lurking" here for a few weeks trying to get up the nerve to join in. I'd also like to say that you are all a bunch of great ladies and thanks for listening!

I'm 51 (like the name says (- and probably have been going through peri since I was about 36 or so. My symptoms were never real bad until around 45 or so when the mood swings and irregular periods started. In late 2003, I had a very heavy period that lasted for 14 days....some of which was during a business/pleasure trip to NYC, which was not a lot of fun but thank goodness the being away from home and over stimulated, helped. However,when I got back home, I became so weak that I had an episode where I felt like I was going to pass out that took me to the emergency clinic.They took my blood pressure, blood sugar and pregnancy test (which I knew wasn't the problem because my husband ahd a vasectomy years ago)My blood pressure was high (ya think?)but everthing else was okay. I made an appointment with my GYN (who is wonderful) and he ran all the appropiate tests and said yes, this is very defintely perimenopause and it's normal for your periods to flucuate, become heavy like when they first began but to let him know if I had another one that lasted that long.

Well, long story short, although the time frame between them flucuated for a while, sometimes less than a moth between them sometimes a bit over a month, I never had another "period from hell" like that again. I should also backtrack a bit and say that around early 2002, I began taking an herbal menopausal support supplement that I felt was really helping and my GYN said that if it was helping, I should keep taking it. So, my last visit to my GYN was early 2004 and things were going along pretty much the same, I was just feeling more and more what I call "mental" so I started taking the extra strength meno supplement early December this year.Then, just after, Christmas I began having what felt like anxiety attacks...rapid heartbeat, feeling flu like, depressed and fatigued. I was also waking up more and more frequently during the night. Then, I had an episode where I thought maybe I was going to pass out and had to go lay down for a while.I also haven't had a period since October. I quit taking the extra strength supps and went back to the previous ones mid December but now, I don't feel like they are helping at all. The anxiety attacks seem to be less but are not gone and I also have that foggy headedness and sometimes feel like I'm "walking sidways" (vertigo?) and noticed foggy vision too.Then over the last month or so, I have ringing in my ears that I can live with during the day but that can really make me nuts sometimes when I go to bed at night! I went to my GP to see if I had an ear infection and he said I didn't. I also told him about the dizziness and he said: "Oh, you have that too?" gave me samlpes of Zyrtec, some nasal spray and a scrip for antibiotics if my ears became painful. He also said if none of this worked, he'd refer me to an ENT. Well, I haven't been taking any of it...considered the antibiotics but my ears never became painful, so I didn't fill the scrip.Then last week, my husband and I went for an eye doctor appointment and he told me I have a cataract in my left eye which really surprised him because it usually happens later in life and it came on so quickly. He referred me to an opthomologist that I have an appointment with on Monday. I also have an appointment with my GYN next month...can't wait!

Whew! has this been long winded or what!? Sorry about that but I just was wondering if any of you wonderful ladies are like me? Going along not loving perimenopause for sure but getting through it okay until right before actual menopause(which I'm hoping this will be if I can go period free until this October) everything just went to heck and the really bad symptoms attacked?

[RedFox]

Hello everyone. I joined Power Surge two years ago, but have been too shy to post much. I've been reading the tremendous library and posts here though, trying to learn about these changes I'm going through and looking for ways to ease the difficulties. It's amazing to me how many symptoms I share with you all. I read this whole thread and feel like I know you girls so well! I'm very touched by your caring and friendship!

I'm 51 and began perimenopause around the age of 45. Before that, I always enjoyed good health, regular periods with hardly a cramp, and was very active and fit, loving to exercise. I was just a bit of a worrier at times, but didn't have any problems with anxiety or depression. I loved to travel, go out with friends, loved my office job, did lots of snow skiing, was happy and filled with self-confidence. I feel one of my strong points was in communication with others, able to carry on intelligent, vocabulary-rich conversations, and I was a good listener. That was then...

This is now... Since peri started, my biggest problem has been anxiety, but with some Ativan now and then and some of my own self-help remedies and practices, I've been able to get by. But like many of you here, it hasn't been easy. It's weird how anxiety just comes out of the blue, hits you 'wham' in the face, for seemingly no reason at all. I've had depression along with it too and took Paxil for about a year, but didn't like what it did to me, so weaned off very gradually. I experienced dizziness for about 6 weeks after finally quitting the Paxil, which made me determined to never again use an antidepressant (I hope). For me, the key to avoiding depression is regular exercise and meditation. Other problems I've had have been irritability, mood swings, crying, that terrible brain fog, and worst -- wanting to be alone, never wanting to go anywhere, not able to reach out to anyone -- although I know this is just what I need. That's why I haven't become active in Power Surge. I know everyone here is so wonderful and helpful, and maybe could benefit from what I have to say too... but it's just so hard for me to come out of the shadows, even when I know it's what I need. I guess I'm reaching out now... finally.

Last October, I had 3 weeks of intense hot flashes, then it just stopped. This seems weird, but that's the best I ever felt, as if the flashes burned the worst of the anxiety and depression out of me. My periods are very irregular and I've skipped several. At this point in time, I'm feeling somewhat neutral, though I still don't want to go anywhere. The last 4 days, I've had pains in my sides, about where my ovaries are, and am wondering if I'm about to get a period, or if something is wrong. If it doesn't go away in a few days, I guess I'll have to call my doctor... but I don't want to, because then I'd have to go somewhere! Oh brother... Anyway, that's my story. My heart really goes out to those of you who are suffering so terribly -- my best to all of you... RedFox

[plumeria]

Redfox,

Glad you are coming out of the shadows. I am 48 years old and started having peri symptoms 2 years ago, until last December I was able to hold my own with the symptoms but then had a total meltdown before Christmas but slowly getting better. I too feel like you, I use to be so social and outgoing , now it takes all of my effort to get up in the morning for work and I just exist from day to day.

It is hard to explain to people how you really feel, fortunately I have a few friends and sometimes understanding husband that supports me and have some idea what I am going through but still there are many physical and emotional stuff going on that I cannot even put into words. I have a 12 year old that needs me (even though she acts like she doesn't) so this keeps me going.

Much to my resistance I too started an antidepressant (10 mg of prozac) and will try it for 3 months but I am working with my doctor on bioidentical hormones.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know we are here for you.

Plumeria

[Angel1]

Ladies its been a nightmare for me. I don't even know who I am sometimes. The Anxiety is the worst!!!!!. I have lost my pep for life and worry all the time. I never expected to feel this way. I thought I would get some hot flashes and that would be it. I never knew about the tremors, lightheadedness, ANXIETY!!!, and what I call that Crazy Head feeling.

Its been 10 months now and I thank God for PS. Knowing that I was not the only one feeling this way saved my mind.

Angel 1

[lidge26]

I'm in a ticked off mood today and everything I read brings to mind
how utterly ignored our problems are. In our local Sunday paper magazine, there
is an article by Dr. Isadore Rosenfeld touting why we may live better and longer.
Everything from heart disease, alzheimers, arthritis, diabetes, and oh yes,
sexual activity for men of all ages! Hmm what did they leave out! Oh yeah,
the malady that affects us, the scourge that is stealing our enjoyment of our years
in midlife! The good doctor states - "the sexual health of senior males also has been improved by a better understanding of the role of the male hormone testoterone". Isn't that nice for them! Its a shame that peri and meno isn't contagious to men- then we would have our magic pill too-
Just had to get this off my chest!

[joliejacq]

AMEN Lidge!

JJ

[RedFox]

Plumeria, thanks so much for your kind words. Knowing there are supportive people like you here means so much to me. I'm glad you're getting better from the pre-Christmas meltdown -- the stress of the holidays can sure take a toll on one.

I have a 16 year old son (like you, he was 12 when I was 48). I understand what you mean about having a child and the responsibility keeps you going. Same here. Though my son is very independent and mature, doesn't seem to "need" me -- I still have to be strong and reliable, and at least "act" stable. Security is such an important element in my life and I want my son to have plenty of it too.

My husband is pretty understanding about what's happening to me too, though I find I don't talk about it as much as I should. I guess I feel like I'm complaining, but I know I shouldn't. I do feel better after talking. Unfortunately, I don't have many friends where we live, but having the Internet is wonderful. It's so therapeutic to connect with so many women going through this change, who really understand.

I hope the Prozac works for you. Although I'm glad I'm through with the Paxil, I admit it did help me tremendously. After being on it for a year, I started wondering, gee, am I going to take this forever, or is it time to get off? Thankfully, I was able to quit and do just fine without it. I'll be interested in hearing how the biodentical hormones go for you too. That's something I don't know much about, but I read about it a lot on PS. Good luck, Plumeria, and I hope to see you around.


RedFox

[RedFox]

Jo51 -- nice to meet you, and sorry to hear of all the problems. About your ears, I too sometimes have pain in my ears, along with some dizziness and ringing at times, but I attribute the problem to sinuses. Usually, just taking a Sudafed works for me. I take that Sudafed PE, which doesn't have ephedrine in it -- the regular Sudafed gets me too wired!

Hope you're better.

RedFox

[jsully]

Well before peri-meno I was hardly ever sick. Maybe few sinus headaches, cold twice a year but that is all.


NOW - every thing in the book hits me - I feel like a hypocondriac. Something NEW every day - hardly ever a day I feel like I used to a few months back.

This TOO shall pass!

[daybyday]

Ahhhh... life before menopause. My hormones and I were cruising along just fine.
Then is was Whaaaaaaat happened here.
I am 50 and meno since 45, last period.
I miss my hormones. Never much thought about it or appreciated its effects until it was gone. 2 months of HRT made me appreciate its effects. But didn't want to stay on that. Dr. didn't want me to either.
I have 2 teen daughters with estrogen.