What Were You Like Before Menopause Started? Options

[finola]

anneirt~~I don't know much about the Estroplus, theres a couple of threads..one called alternative meds,and the other biodentical, natural hormones..some of the ladies over there may know about Estroplus. I ordered some progesterone cream, but then got scared to use it because I haven't had my hormones tested and don't know if I'm low estrogen or progesterone..it's so hard to know what to take..I'm taking B-complex and calcium now and think the B complex is helping my moods a bit~

[didi]

Wow - so interesting to read all these posts about life pre- and post-meno. I've had perimeno symptoms since I was 36, some of which drove me to one specialist after another after another. Burning urethra that was like a constant case of cystitis, inability to sleep more than about 4 hours a night, exhaustion, dryness in all my mucous membranes, and more that I've mercifully forgotten........ Before all that my health had always been variable, with periods of intense fatigue and IBS being my biggest problems. Drs. often brushed me off. Went through a tough divorce at 35, got stalked by a nut case for a few years after that, went broke for various reasons, moved many times, all of which contributed to the severity of the perio symptoms, I'm sure. Anyway, I remarried 6 years ago, thinking it wasn't the right thing but somehow ending up there anyway, and since then life has calmed down even though other symptoms have come and gone. I had a severe case of the internal shaking that's mentioned here on the boards, and thought I had MS. Went to a neurologist, who was no help, and was distraught until I found my symptoms perfectly described by Dearest and identified as a meno issue. Whew! I've learned to live with the perio symptoms, though now at 46 they seem to be notching up a bit - dryness is worse, esp. in eyes and nose. On the plus side, because I always dealt with anxiety when younger, the occasional anxiety attacks don't freak me out. I also care MUCH less what anyone thinks of me. I've been working on my attitude, meditating, generally doing the things I think I need to do to get ready for this new phase of life, and it's paying off so far (knock on wood). I'm a nicer person, more thoughtful, considerate (without it coming out of my hide, if you know what I mean), less self-centered, just because being ill and freaked and dealing with one trauma after another has finally left me feeling that really, what does it all matter? Given that I don't have control over much of what happens to me, why should I spend what time I have here being miserable? Meditation has helped me to direct my thinking, so my life-long negative thinking is finally becoming a thing of the past. I have to say that although I would never have chosen to undergo a lot of the things that happened to me, they have made me a better person that I wouldn't become if left to my own selfish devices. I'm not looking forward to more symptoms in menopause, but having Power Surge's help and sympathy as close as the computer certainly takes the edge off! Dearest is a saint in my book.

[snephers]

This site is a blessing and Dearest must be an angel here on earth. Reading the information and posts on this website have been calming, affirming, educational, and sometimes even humorous. I enjoy coming here every day.

[alice3]

So do I. It's my fix for the day! As a previous poster said I don't really care what anyone thinks of me regarding the panic but become anxious because of the tummy ache and trots that often accompany it. Why did Claire Weekes not mention this in her books?

[TexasLady]

Before menopause ,I felt as though I had a life. Now between the heart arrythmia, panic attacks, mood swings, vertigo,chest pains,and what ever else is on the horizon ,I feel as though it will never end. In this time period ,my husband began a new business ,(still struggling). We lost our home , my car , financial security. Last year my dad died. My mother-in-law ,passed last Christmas eve.It has been a most stressful time. I pray a lot. Give it to God and take it back. I need to stop that. I WILL get thru this. Hopefully the marriage will also. I just want menopause to be over. I miss the "me" that used to be. Sorry for the whining.Thanks for letting me express these feelings. God bless you all.

[Yvonne4747]

Texas Lady, You can whine anytime. It makes me feel normal. I know everything is so hard, it seems to be for me too, and complaining about it on these boards seems to relieve some of the burden. I understand. {{{{{HUG}}}}}} Yvonne

[julief]

HELLO - I only discovered your board a few days ago and already feel less lonely and lost. You're all life-enhancing - because you all talk about the essence of your daily lives. The daily grind, the creativity, the struggle to survive daily, the need to connect, to love and be loved and all the obstacles, inside and out, that we try to overcome and understand. Everything I have read I can relate to in small ways and big ways and your humour has made me laugh out loud. Felt a bit overwhelmed when I got home today and logged on to see if it would change the way i felt and read the question by Dearest about what we were like before we were abducted by perimenopause and what we're like now. The biggest change for me is that all my coping mechanisms are failing me. I was born to a woman who had never been loved and rejected me. The pattern for all my relationships was set there. Eventually I married a man who was always going to reject me and found myself a single mum with two little boys. I fell into a thousand pieces but because I didnt want my too precious boys to suffer and be lost like me I tried to make sense of why my life had ended up in such a mess. I learned a lot about myself and discovered that I created co-dependant relationships and was always trying to resolve the anger and fears and self hate through others. I was also addicted to dope, cigarettes binge drinking and was bulimic for a year. Everyday was an internal battleground but eventually I mined out an authentic relationship with myself and then with others and freed myself from the addictions although I still had a problem with food. Eight years later I met and fell in love with John (4 years ago) Life was better than it had ever been and for the first time I felt I had a future and wasnt just living and being creative for my boys. Then two years ago my mum was diagnosed with alzheimers, and we were thrown together coz she had no-one else (i'm an only child). BOY WAS I MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just when life was becoming wonderful and I was full of hope and happiness this woman who never gave a **** about me was dumped smack in the middle of my lap and I had to deal with it. I was very VERY resentful. She still wanted nothing to do with me, was still cruel and hateful but she was helpless and had no-one else. Anyway to cut a long story short (lol) I've come to terms with having her in my life - shes still a pain in the arse but I've got a sense of humour about her and I hardly ever hate her now!? The point being (is that a resounding "AT LAST" I hear) I've worked hard to understand myself, to keep from damaging my sons souls, to overcome my defences and heal the wounds. But recently I find myself angry and intolerant again, lost and frightened again, tired and despairing again and no amount of self-knowledge or positive thinking can budge it . I feel out of control. I try to ride it out but its very scary and I dont want to be destructive. But when Im overwhelmed I'm overwhelmed and stuck. Never not been able to do something creative before. Phew! Sorry about all that - I could have just said - Before perimenopause I could make things change and now I cant. Love Julie x

[otter]

Julie - so sorry to hear about all the awful things you've had to overcome in your life. It sounds as if you've conquered them with grace and courage (and even a little humor). Just writing to let you know that things DO get better. This peri stuff doesn't last forever and eventually your body does rewire itself to deal with the sputtering hormones. Hang in there, girlie - we're all rooting for you, Otter

[julief]

Thanks Otter - It feels good to be standing alongside you all. Julie x ps - Im all for a good root !

[Gia*]

Before peri, I was a bodacious, hot mama with a go getting, in your face, bratty attitude. I had dreams of lighting the world on fire. Now 6 years later, the world is not on fire and I'm no longer the babe of the ball. My attitude has been adjusted big time by peri but in a good way. I'm no longer obsessed with my looks. I'm much more patient and compassionate person. There was a time when I wouldn't dare go to the store without makeup. Now, I could give a rat's behind what people think of me. I'm carrying 30 extra pounds from Paxil and would've been horrified ten years ago with this extra weight. Now I simply enjoy the extra curves. Well, most of the time .

[alice3]

Texas Lady, your story sounds similar to mine. I have never wanted to take chances because I suppose I like to be in control, therefore when similar hardtimes happened to me it really threw me a curve. At the end of the day, we come into this world alone and leave the same way, so really we have to rely on ourselves! A few helping hands make the journey better but it's really up to us. As I heard on a programme once "The brave do not live forever. The cautious never live at all" Something to think about I suppose.

[sudio]

Gia, evey word you wrote sounds like me. and i also think that if you've been a control freak all your life , it sure makes it alot harder to accept all that happens to us during this nightmare. control freak women are forcefully humbled sooner or later. i wish i could feel confident and sexy again.

[janderse]

Interesting question--life before menopause. I have always been moody, driven, intense, passionate, opinionated, loyal, prone to depression, intellectual, funny, creative. Periods were always regular, predictable, consisting of multiple physical and psychological complaints. My husband sure did dread the PMS! I was always pretty healthy, rarely seeing a doctor except for annual exams, so when at 42, my mammogram showed microcalcifications and I had to get a biopsy, it was devastating. The mastectomy threw me off kilter, then the tamoxifen really accelerated the menopausal process. Hot flashes galore! One or 2 periods a year. This went on for 5 years. Then, when I finally finished the tamoxifen, I had a hysterectomy for what I feared was uterine cancer, but was not. In the process, I found my power--I became less fearful and more courageous--why can't I learn to pilot a plane or shoot a gun?! So, I guess prior to menopause, I was less than I am now. I am still trying to find my creativity again. I am much more spiritual now than I was before menopause. I think I was very judgemental and my thinking was black & white before. It's like my mind has been opened up and all this new information and new ways of seeing things has blossomed in there while I was asleep. I think I am a better me now. I agree with Gia--I was pretty hot in my younger days, but now I am learning to accept the extra weight, fine wrinkles showing up in my skin, and I am much less concerned with what others think, period.

[youthfull wants ...]

Great topic of discussion, I can empathize and understand what some of these women are going through after reading these posts. The difference between me and everyone else here is that I have had a full hysterectomy at age 42 (with removal of the ovaries) a couple of months ago. I had a tumor that was found in my uterus (benign) thank god! Prior to surgery and at least for 3 yrs. I had symptoms of hot flashes, night sweats, extremely bad PMS, insomnia, fatigue and 3 months before surgery, heavy bleeding during my period for up to 7 days, extreme fatigue, and anemia. I do not have to deal with any of these symptoms anymore and have only experienced mild hot flashes and insomina for a couple of nights in the last 2 months...nothing to really complain about. I have cut out coffee and drink a healthy coffee called gano that has the extract of the reishi mushroom for health benefits (by the way a cup of this coffee has about 7 mg of caffeine, compared to regular coffee that could have as much as 280 mg of caffeine), I drink 8 glasses of water/day, drink green tea (which has the benefits of antioxdants), eat soy, fiber, flax and have cut out refined white sugar, refined white flour (as much as I can). I also will be getting back into yoga (which I really love) for excercise. I understand that estrogen can stay in your fat cells for up to 10 wks after surgery, so I don't know if that is why I am not experiencing the hot flashes to a more severe degree. I am not on any HRT and do not want to go on synthetic hormones, however, I am thinking about NHRT because I believe that I need the benefits that estrogen will give me. I am concerned about bone loss and heart disease. I would love to hear from anyone that has gone through a hysterectomy so I could hear their experience.
Looking forward to hearing from any replies
Take care,
Youthful wants to talk to you

[Katie1]

I come from a line of slow developers... You can take that as mentally slow .. physically slow and emotionally slow... I married at the age of 29 after having fulfilled my dreams of becoming a top equestrian competitor. I settled down but never had any children so gave my creativity to breeding and showing dogs. I come from an athletic health oriented family (5 doctors). I believe I entered into peri at age 40 when I quit my career and retired. Big step. From ages 40 to 51, I gained 60 lbs... yo-yoing on a variety of diets and foods. By 48 yrs of age, I had all the symptoms of the "fat and 40"... was my gall bladder going to be the next problem? I started to research. I joined a gym, met a personal trainer who took an interest in me. She actually caught me in a downward spiral.. I took baby steps to climb back up. I'm doing OK today... with some symptoms though I'm supplimenting with Progesterone, watching my weight (low carb/high protein). I workout 5x's a week and pump weights with other women my age who also have realized the benefits of a strenuous workout. My libido has returned, my dress size has returned, I'm now called the bicep babe and have the men looking at me again. Weight training should be called the "Secrets of Anti-aging". Just look at the movie stars these days... they are all in the gym.. As the nike slogan says: JUST DO IT. (I'm much happier and have to say... I'm doing fine (finally).

[Katie1]

anneirt~~I don't know much about the Estroplus, theres a couple of threads..one called alternative meds,and the other biodentical, natural hormones..some of the ladies over there may know about Estroplus.
I ordered some progesterone cream, but then got scared to use it because  I haven't had my hormones tested and don't know if I'm low estrogen or progesterone..it's so hard to know what to take..I'm taking B-complex and calcium now and think the B complex is helping my moods a bit~

[Meg2820370]

Before menopause...pretty much a happy go lucky kind of person. Had a hysterectomy 2 years ago at age 45. Instant menopause, not pretty. Very edgy, very weepy. no patience whatsoever, hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain (25 pounds so far!), no short term memory, no sex drive whatsoever. And no support system at home!!!!Was put on low dose of estrodial but stopped it myself. Tried organic progesterone cream, didn't do a thing. Have just been trudging along for 2 years now, trying to keep my wits about me. Last year developed terrible pain in my feet, TMJ, losing bone in my gums and now both knees are killing me. Podiatrist gave me orthotics for feet (didn't help a bit), dentist gave me a retainer for the TMJ (didn't help a bit), orthopeodic surgeon said maybe the kneecaps were bruised (although I didn't injure them) and to take 2 Aleve. And now I've discovered Power-Surge and through this site a wonderful doctor by the name of Phillip Warner, who I met with yesterday in his office. He is getting me on what I believe to be the true road to recovery with bio-identical (or as he calls them, human identical) hormones. After one month on these hormones I will check back in here and report on the progress. Gees, this just HAS to be the answer.

[joliejacq]

Meg,

Welcome to Power-Surge! Gee, all your symptoms sound familiar....

Best of luck with this new approach. I so hope it makes a big difference for you. Let us know how it goes!

Jacquie

[GIRLFRIEND]

[SIZE=7][FONT=Arial][B]
[SIZE=14] Hello Katie1 -- Congrats on the exercising--I also believe going to the gym 5-6x week has helped me greatly with menopause. I am 54 and have been without period since age 45. My symptoms are not that bad except ONE --the night sweats. It's been driving me mad for the past 9 mos, since I stopped the HRT. (developed breat tumors/borderline cancer, had to choice but to stop!) I believed so much in the exercise and that it would help this too, but, alas, it has not. I sweat like crazy in the gym and then again at night doing nothing but lying there! I started taking ACTIVE WOMAN's MULTI (vitamin), which I purchase thru this site, but so far they have not made a difference in the night sweats. If anyone has anything that works to help with this hot bed problem, please tell us all!! - Janie PS--I've been away for a long, long time from this site and have just re-registered--so good to be back!

[TALLY]

HEY, I know what you are going through. I have good days and bad. Had a radical hysterectomy in Nov 2004, and turned the big 41 in Dec 2004. I use Vivelle Dot natural estrogen patches now, and some natural usp progesterone cream. It has helped the insomnia and night sweats. I am trying to figure out the proper dosing of the progesterone cream. I have been having terrible headaches lately.
I usually do not have hot flashes during the day, but they were terrible about 4i in
the afternoon yesterday and last night. I woke up about 3am and could not go back to sleep until 6am. Good luck Tally

[Meg2820370]

Thank you for the warm welcome, Jacquie! It's good to be here!

[joliejacq]

Meg, you're so welcome!

Before perimenopause, I assumed women who had a hard time with "the change" were somehow weak-spirited, or "prone to booboos." I was going to breeze through it, and for good measure, would age well, and be one of those "handsome" older women, always active and positive, lots of energy....

Well, heh heh heh..... <_<

[chriscarol]

Yeah Jacquie life plays tricks on you. Although I had a history of premenstrual woes, I thought menopause meant a few flashes and then adios PMDD. Little did
I know I'd go through years of amped up premenstrual type symptoms. I
was always somewhat of a worrier, but the chronic panic attacks amazed me. I
was also somewhat moody, but functional. This literally knocked to my knees
somedays. And I tried to look for ten million issues, but raging hormones seem
to be at the forefront.

I exercised regularly, so I was going to glide into my middle years painfree and
youthful. I also ate well and took tons of supplements. Now I deal with chronic
pain issues.

Rough day. Panic, intense crying jags, rag. Well, Chris you know the drill. You
would think I would adapt to this by now, but I'll never get use to feeling so
lousy. I do maintain hope, but how I'll never know.

[joliejacq]

You're right, Chris, there is no adapting to those feelings. What's that old saying: "no way out but through."

Hang in. It's gonna pass. Meanwhile, we're with ya.

Love,
Jacquie

[oncourse]

Perimenopause for me is a something I wouldn't wish on anyone. My FSH level says I'm not in peri, yet I have numerous symptoms of perimenopause which change yearly. I have no predictable cycle to my periods, can't plan travel or much else. I live in fear of having some deadly disease because I don't recognize my body anymore. I have anxiety for the first time in my life (where the heck did that come from??) usually while driving down a major highway (HA HA). I get heart palpitations once in a while (only while I lie down and try to relax, never while in the middle of a major cardio workout!). I hate this time in my life and feel like I am wasting or will be wasting what could have been 10 good years. So sorry for this vent, I am feeling depressed this morning and now I have my period (but not quite a period) again and will probably have to call my doctor. Oh, and my biggest complaint is I can't find a doctor who can guide me through this mess called menopause help me understand what is happening to me. No one has ever talked to me about HRT. I don't think anyone has the answers and I'm so frustrated. Thanks for allowing this vent. I'm having a bad morning.

[MartyD]

I think in comparison I have had a fairly easy time. The hot flashes and loss of sex drive are my biggest complaints. I am 52 and haven't had a period in 7 months. I just stopped one month. I did not have the heavy periods leading up to my periods ending. I do have horrible hot flashes that keep me up at night and bother me during the day. I have suffered from panic attacks since my early teen years. I have been on Ativan for about 10 years now. It keeps my panic and anxiety under control. I don't seem to have mood swings or anxiety. (maybe thanks to the Ativan I take) I do feel a loss of sex drive. I do seem to have more headaches then before. Crossing my fingers it does not get any worse then this.

Marty

[Kleeo]

Lucky you Marty! Sounds like your menopause might actually be a mild one! I'm so jealous! lol lol!! Your loss of sex drive could be partially related to the menopause and also could be related to the Ativan. I know one of the benzo side effects is decreased sex drive. How much do you take? I take xanax @ one .25 at night and have for 7 years. My sex drive is FAR from decreased! but my doseage is so low my doctor says it's almost a placebo effect for me.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that you don't have any more symptoms than you have now! How inspiring to hear that there ARE mild menopauses out there!
HUGS!

[Juliann]

Hello ladies, yes I can agree with everyone that peri changes just about EVERYTHING, I never know what to expect next. Now that the heavy duty peri symtoms have been coming on me since beginning of 2004. But the Panic attacks and depression episodes started back 8 yrs ago. I never saw the connection of the anxiety, with peri???? Until I started coming here to power-surge, it really educated me, that I wasn't just nuts, but other women are going through it also.

At almost 47, I haven't yet skipped any periods, just had some that were up to 10 days late, which isn't like me, I used to be like clock work.

My daughter is getting married in 2 weeks, and its been stress city with everything that needs to be done. I think peri gets worse when stress is high??? Anyway, yesterday at my daughters bridal shower, many of my family members came (which isn't often that I see them), my sister (who's 14yrs older) commented to me that I looked tired, and that the last few times she has seem me, I looked tired. WELL.....my first thought was, damm I should have had some plastic surgery done by now.....(of course the wedding will take care of any EXTRA change I would have laying around)lol. So being broke and now tired looking, takes on new meanings in PERI LAND!!!! Oh well!!!

[alice3]

Poor you Juliann. Just put on some extra blusher!

My daughter gets married this summer and I'm dreading it.

[joliejacq]

One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is people who tell other people they "look tired."
How is this ever helpful to anyone? If you're gonna tell me I look tired, how about arranging a spa visit for me, or offering to come help clean my house, or taking me out to lunch? Once these two ladies at a church I used to go to were going on and on about how tired I looked, and then ended with, "Don't forget we'll need you to bake 2 pies for Friday's bake sale." HUNHHHH?????

There are times I have felt like people who do this have some kind of "agenda." I guess you might consider, next time you see your sister, telling her she "doesn't look well." That's another one I hate - these vague, undermining comments!

But then, as you can see, I am thin-skinned, slightly paranoid, and vengeful!


Hey, my daughter's wedding was beautiful, even tho' I did my best to be a wreck . I'm so happy for you gals! Bring lots of tissues!