So Mean To Hubby These Days Options

[PatsyBaker]

Ok, I really don't even feel like I can explain myself where this subject is concerned. I just know I have become a real "HAG" to my husband lately, but I can't help myself. LOL It seems that everything he does gets on my nerves. I find myself questioning him all the time about the way he does things. I know he hates this, but I just can't stop myself. Its like, where did this come from? He has been around here for 37 years. Is this just normal? I get angry at the things he talks about, everything. Things are not going so hot on the romantic side for us either, should I wonder why. HA. I am such a grump he probably does not want to be romantic to me anymore. But then again, I am such a grump, he probably wants as far away from me as possible. HELP. I don't want my marriage to fall apart after 37 years. Is this normal? Or is this just part of getting older together and we have to work through it. I am 55 and hubby is 58, so this may be something for the older folks on here to help me out with. Need any advice I can get. I try to be nice to him everyday, but it never lasts. LOL

[ladybugs]

I'm 42 but I've been married 18 years. YES I do believe this is normal. During the first two years of menopause (medically induced due to hysterectomy) our household was horrid. I had six months of that where I for some reason targeted my husband. I have no idea of why other than he felt "safe" to attack I suppose. I would and could be downright cruel. Things menowise come and go and we are on the "upside" for the moment. The anger/rage thing DID pass but slowly. I went from looking at him during this time and wanting to puke to looking at him again and wanting to kiss is funny little face. It's so weird how hormones can distort how we see another person...especially ourselves!

[lizardlover42000]

PATSY DON'T FEEL BAD I AM PERI AND MY JOURNEY HAS JUST BEGAN AND I AM TARGETING HUBBY EVERYDAY, HES NOT VERY GOOD AT PUTTING HIS CLOTHES IN HAMPER SO I TARGET HIM THERE AND I ALWAYS ASK HIM IF HE WAS BORN IN A BARN LOL CAUSE HE NEVER SHUTS THE DOOR WHEN HE GOES OUTSIDE. DOESN'T HELP THAT I M A CLEAN FREAK EITHER. I AM ALWAYS NAGGING AT HIM OR ASKING HIM IF HE DID THIS OR THAT. MY MIL IS ANOTHER ONE SINCE SHE LIVES WITH US, I CAN SEE WHERE HE GETS IT FROM. SEE I AM NAGGING ALREADY LOL. SOMETIMES HUBBY WANTS TO COME UP TO ME AND HUG ME I SHOVE HIM AWAY SOMETHING TO DO WITH HORMONES I GUESS. ITS FUNNY HOW WE CHOOSE ARE HUBBY TO PICK ON. DON'T FEEL BAD PATSY I AM IN THE SAME NAGGING CLUB HOPE THINGS GET BETTER.

[BellaScarlett]

Yeah, lately I've been the same way. At lunch today, I found myself being so sarcastic with him, just not nice, and wondering why doesn't he think, why does he ..., why doesn't he ... and on and on. Romantic love waxes and wanes for all of us over the course of years. But I would not want to be without him, even if I do occasionally want to throw my shoe at him!

[SKEEWEEAKA]

Ok, I really don't even feel like I can explain myself where this subject is concerned. I just know I have become a real "HAG" to my husband lately, but I can't help myself. LOL It seems that everything he does gets on my nerves. I find myself questioning him all the time about the way he does things. I know he hates this, but I just can't stop myself. Its like, where did this come from? He has been around here for 37 years. Is this just normal? I get angry at the things he talks about, everything. Things are not going so hot on the romantic side for us either, should I wonder why. HA. I am such a grump he probably does not want to be romantic to me anymore. But then again, I am such a grump, he probably wants as far away from me as possible. HELP. I don't want my marriage to fall apart after 37 years. Is this normal? Or is this just part of getting older together and we have to work through it. I am 55 and hubby is 58, so this may be something for the older folks on here to help me out with. Need any advice I can get. I try to be nice to him everyday, but it never lasts. LOL

Hello Patsy,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I understand it and feel it every day. It is normal, for some of us. The only advice I can give you is to walk away...a time out if you will! That is what I have to do. Sometimes I am successful, and other times I just blurt out something stupid and have to come back and say I'm sorry...

Unfortunately, the people closest to us suffer the most from our anxieties, fears, and frustrations! Someone said to me that when I am depressed to not make important decisions, well the problem with that is that I am always depressed, so sometimes we just have to do the best that we can and pray for a better day tomorrow...

Best Wishes...

TJ

[SKEEWEEAKA]

Ok, I really don't even feel like I can explain myself where this subject is concerned. I just know I have become a real "HAG" to my husband lately, but I can't help myself. LOL It seems that everything he does gets on my nerves. I find myself questioning him all the time about the way he does things. I know he hates this, but I just can't stop myself. Its like, where did this come from? He has been around here for 37 years. Is this just normal? I get angry at the things he talks about, everything. Things are not going so hot on the romantic side for us either, should I wonder why. HA. I am such a grump he probably does not want to be romantic to me anymore. But then again, I am such a grump, he probably wants as far away from me as possible. HELP. I don't want my marriage to fall apart after 37 years. Is this normal? Or is this just part of getting older together and we have to work through it. I am 55 and hubby is 58, so this may be something for the older folks on here to help me out with. Need any advice I can get. I try to be nice to him everyday, but it never lasts. LOL

Hello Patsy,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I understand it and feel it every day. It is normal, for some of us. The only advice I can give you is to walk away...a time out if you will! That is what I have to do. Sometimes I am successful, and other times I just blurt out something stupid and have to come back and say I'm sorry...

Unfortunately, the people closest to us suffer the most from our anxieties, fears, and frustrations! Someone said to me that when I am depressed to not make important decisions, well the problem with that is that I am always depressed, so sometimes we just have to do the best that we can and pray for a better day tomorrow...

Best Wishes...

TJ

[Snowmoon56]

Patsy, I’m sure you did not mean your post to be humorous! But I am LMAO!
SORRY!
My husband drives me NUTTS! Can’t stand the way he chews his food or drives>>Nothing!

Yet he would do anything for me!

Let’s hope like everything else>> THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

P.S. 33 years together!

[LisaH1960]

I know how you feel! Last summer I was so nasty cranky with the DH that I don’t know how he put up with me! I mean, many times I knew that I was being unreasonable, but like you, Patsy, I just couldn’t seem to help it. Other times I’d be sobbing like a baby, and no matter how he tried to console me, I’d accuse him of being uncaring and unsupportive.

For me, it seems like the goofy mood swings are tied in with my other symptoms. The harder the hot flashes hit me, the more of an unpredictable emotional wreck I become.

I agree with Ladybugs that we probably attack those closest to us because we feel like it’s “safe”, or at least we feel like we can get away with it. As bad as it gets sometimes, I still manage to contain myself around my boss and coworkers. Maybe it’s just survival instincts.

Lately things gave gotten a lot better, and I’m hoping that I’m over the worst of it. I don’t know how much more either of us could take.

Lisa

[starfairy]

Patsy, I’m sure you did not mean your post to be humorous! But I am LMAO!
SORRY!
My husband drives me NUTTS! Can’t stand the way he chews his food or drives>>Nothing!

Yet he would do anything for me!

Let’s hope like everything else>> THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

P.S. 33 years together!

chews his food!!! LMAO I get the same way!!! I cant stand it! I cant stand how he bangs into me with his elbow or his knee when he sits on the couch or re-adjusts the way he sits OR when he gets "too close" to me in bed. We have only been together 3 1/2 years, engaged 1 year and this is happening??? This morning I couldnt wait for him to leave for work-- if he knew all the stuff he does that bothers me I think he would be so hurt and yes, he would do anything for me too

[unsure@40]

Starfairy, my SO and I have been together about 4 years and living together for the past two, engaged for 1 year. I really don't think it's the length of time that you've been with someone, I honestly think it's the male/female thing at play here.
A little about myself for y'all since I'm new here...I'm 40 (in 11 days), was married for 15 years and have two precious children of my own (9 & 15) as well as a darling 4 yr. old of my SO. My SO is the complete opposite of my worthless ex. He is very attentive and caring and affectionate, but even still there are days I can't stand to look at the man and that's before he even wakes up - lol! We had a talk the other night cuz I was off on one of my rampages. He seriously thinks that if I just talk to him and express how I'm feeling, we can work through it together. I honestly feel that if I even uttered half of what runs through my mind, he'd be gone in a heartbeat and he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.
I try to sensor my thoughts and feelings as a protective measure towards my family, but sometimes that just adds to my frustration. In the past year off and on I have bouts of feeling as though everyone in my family is lazy and do things half arsed. I am far from what I consider a perfectionist, but there is a right way to do thing and a wrong way so why can't they care enough to make at least a little bit of an effort to do it the right way!?!?!

[starfairy]

Starfairy, my SO and I have been together about 4 years and living together for the past two, engaged for 1 year. I really don't think it's the length of time that you've been with someone, I honestly think it's the male/female thing at play here.
A little about myself for y'all since I'm new here...I'm 40 (in 11 days), was married for 15 years and have two precious children of my own (9 & 15) as well as a darling 4 yr. old of my SO. My SO is the complete opposite of my worthless ex. He is very attentive and caring and affectionate, but even still there are days I can't stand to look at the man and that's before he even wakes up - lol! We had a talk the other night cuz I was off on one of my rampages. He seriously thinks that if I just talk to him and express how I'm feeling, we can work through it together. I honestly feel that if I even uttered half of what runs through my mind, he'd be gone in a heartbeat and he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.
I try to sensor my thoughts and feelings as a protective measure towards my family, but sometimes that just adds to my frustration. In the past year off and on I have bouts of feeling as though everyone in my family is lazy and do things half arsed. I am far from what I consider a perfectionist, but there is a right way to do thing and a wrong way so why can't they care enough to make at least a little bit of an effort to do it the right way!?!?!

AMEN Sister!
Im 48 in June and have been going thru peri for over 10 years...it has really gotten worse for me recently. My SO and I both have houses so we kinda live together and we kinda dont. I use my home for work---childcare but its still liveable since we have a living room in the basement and bedrooms/bathrooms. His house is about 30 minutes from mine so on nights when I have meetings or classes I choose to stay at my home and he stays at his----depends on if the cats need to be fed or he will stay here since his job has him closer to my home---grrrrrrrrr. I absolutely cherish the nights to myself and time away from him!!! We left his house this morning and he asked if the cats have enough of everything---Im thinking hes gonna stay here tonight---CRAP! Im kidding--at least I have a sense of humor about it I have classes tues and thurs nights and a meeting on wed's...so I know at least one of those nights are mine. My SO is very open to discussions too but hmmmm if he knew it all it would be deadly. Im like you too---I came home from grocery shopping one day and there were dishes in the sink and I just started crying, I was overwhelmed. He cant even put a dish in the dishwasher for crying outloud. I refuse to do any cleaning or dishes whatsoever at his house--I have enough of my own to do let alone go there and do more. Granted he is the best man that ever stepped into my world and my kids just love him BUT.....
My oldest son 28 years old was divorced last winter an dmoved back home to save money to get his own place, fine--I love having him here. Last weekend my daughter 21 years old left her boyfirend, she moved back in--fine I love having her here too--however.....that feeling of overwhelment came over me a few times and I said oh no no no---it will be fine. I may have to have a talk with everyone and say "hey, there are 4 adults in this house no"...I aint doing it all. I hope it dosent have to go there.
Peace!!

[momzoffour]

chews his food!!! LMAO I get the same way!!! I cant stand it! I cant stand how he bangs into me with his elbow or his knee when he sits on the couch or re-adjusts the way he sits OR when he gets "too close" to me in bed. We have only been together 3 1/2 years, engaged 1 year and this is happening??? This morning I couldnt wait for him to leave for work-- if he knew all the stuff he does that bothers me I think he would be so hurt and yes, he would do anything for me too

HAHAHAHAHA.....I tell my hubbie to stop eating his cereal so loud....I get a good morning "HUH?" from him for that one and he keeps eating....

The spoon hitting the bowl and the **slurp** of the milk....aghhhhhhhhh....over and over and over and over........ I start humming and that drowns it out.....30 years 0f wedded bliss in March yippeeeeeeee

[starfairy]

HAHAHAHAHA.....I tell my hubbie to stop eating his cereal so loud....I get a good morning "HUH?" from him for that one and he keeps eating....

The spoon hitting the bowl and the **slurp** of the milk....aghhhhhhhhh....over and over and over and over........ I start humming and that drowns it out.....30 years 0f wedded bliss in March yippeeeeeeee

But we still love them