loss of orgasm anyone? Options

[janet c]

I think you are right there about the ratio of hormones as too much estrogen in relation to testosterone is a passion killer! However I do agree that estrogen increases lubrication and skin sensitivity in the correct amount.
In my case, as I lost my ovaries, my testosterone levels were on the floor and without it, no amount of estrogen would have made any difference to my libido.
The very fact that I am not using any systemic estrogen with my testosterone, and yet I now have a great libido kind of points to the fact that testosterone has a large part to play. I do find when I use a little vaginal estrogen it definitely can enhance things but if I overdo it then it completely switches me off!

As you say we are all different-but as you are still having periods you are not anywhere near in the same place as either a post menopausal woman or one-like myself and ((( bfly36))) who has had radical surgery. That I am afraid is another country

janet c

[JZZ]

I think you are right there about the ratio of hormones as too much estrogen in relation to testosterone is a passion killer! However I do agree that estrogen increases lubrication and skin sensitivity in the correct amount.
In my case, as I lost my ovaries, my testosterone levels were on the floor and without it, no amount of estrogen would have made any difference to my libido.
The very fact that I am not using any systemic estrogen with my testosterone, and yet I now have a great libido kind of points to the fact that testosterone has a large part to play. I do find when I use a little vaginal estrogen it definitely can enhance things but if I overdo it then it completely switches me off!

As you say we are all different-but as you are still having periods you are not anywhere near in the same place as either a post menopausal woman or one-like myself and ((( bfly36))) who has had radical surgery. That I am afraid is another country

janet c

Sorry, but I did not say "too much estrogen in relation to T is a passion killer". Please reread my post. But the correct ratios of hormones (whether or not) supplementing (whether in Peri or fully Post) are what is critical for each woman to feel well, (have sex, the "o", etc.) Hope I've clarified what I was trying to say earlier. Regards, JZZ

Another problem that docs never address is that no base line of hormones (or ratios thereof) were taken when we felt good (or before hyster, peri, meno). So when all the hormonal muck hits us it then becomes very difficult to determine what each woman needs to feel well.

And, Janet I really feel for you being thru radical hyster. It's tough, I experienced a smiliar rapid abrupt total "shut down" of my ovaries when I was given the wrong medication while in the hospital. (went from very high hormones levels to nothing very rapidly. Eight months later the ovaries "restarted" but I have been fast forwarded on the peri/meno ride . So some of us have been in "another country" albeit a chemically induced one. NOT fun.)

[janet c]

I was just agreeing with you in principal that hormones have to be balanced.No you did not say "too much estrogen in relation to T is a passion killer".-I did -because it is a fact. You can look it up. Estrogen binds up testosterone and can reduce libido.

You will know what it is like when the ovaries are not producing hormones then -albeit in your case temporarily. It is horrid-isn't it?
I am glad you still have yours and that they are working again to some degree!
janet c

[bfly36]

Just an update, I have been going through the same issue that this member is going through. I went yesterday to a GYN that is an expert on BioIdentical. WHEN HE HEARD what the other GYN told me (NO HORMONES NO NOTHING)!!!!! He flipped. He said the cancer I had was not due to hormones but to the HPV Virus, he spent time informing me how peri was affecting my body and libido and guess what i have in my hands......... drum roll...... Estraidol and Testosterone CREAM YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will start tonight because I had to collect urine this morning to send out for a full HORMONAL Test, THANK GOD my insurance just changed and they will cover all these tests.

For the first time in years, my hope is back and just knowing I was going to get better, I actually felt alot better, he said I was too young to be going thru all of this and that all the Biopsy and Poking my other doctor was doing was all unneccessary. Ladies, WE CANNOT LOSE HOPE, that is what we live off every day, If something is not marching correct, let's first start by being easy on ourselves and praying. Then let's read and find out what the main stream doctors dont tell us.

NEXT, Im tired of thinking that I have to be a SEX Maniac all the time and that to be normal I have to have sex almost everyday, PLEASE, I am always comparing myself to other women. Let's accept our own sexuality and be happy that even through ALL these changes we are going through we still have the ability (even if we need a little help here and there of a finger, vibrator or whatever) to still enjoy one of God's most precious gift.

THANX all for sharing your experiences and for letting me know I'm not the only one going through this.

[JZZ]

Just an update, I have been going through the same issue that this member is going through. I went yesterday to a GYN that is an expert on BioIdentical. WHEN HE HEARD what the other GYN told me (NO HORMONES NO NOTHING)!!!!! He flipped. He said the cancer I had was not due to hormones but to the HPV Virus, he spent time informing me how peri was affecting my body and libido and guess what i have in my hands......... drum roll...... Estraidol and Testosterone CREAM YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will start tonight because I had to collect urine this morning to send out for a full HORMONAL Test, THANK GOD my insurance just changed and they will cover all these tests.

For the first time in years, my hope is back and just knowing I was going to get better, I actually felt alot better, he said I was too young to be going thru all of this and that all the Biopsy and Poking my other doctor was doing was all unneccessary. Ladies, WE CANNOT LOSE HOPE, that is what we live off every day, If something is not marching correct, let's first start by being easy on ourselves and praying. Then let's read and find out what the main stream doctors dont tell us.

NEXT, Im tired of thinking that I have to be a SEX Maniac all the time and that to be normal I have to have sex almost everyday, PLEASE, I am always comparing myself to other women. Let's accept our own sexuality and be happy that even through ALL these changes we are going through we still have the ability (even if we need a little help here and there of a finger, vibrator or whatever) to still enjoy one of God's most precious gift.

THANX all for sharing your experiences and for letting me know I'm not the only one going through this.

Janet, Thanks for your clarification on how you view things. And, yes Estogen does bind with testosterone. But, again the individual's particular ratio needs to be factored into the equation. E binding up some of the T does Not always kill libido/passion. For example... While some women lose libido/passion/sex drive on a particular bcp many others do not. Same thing can be said for b/hrt. Some will need more E while others less. Same with P or T or anything else. Also, many women lose libido/passion in peri and or meno and it does not always return. But sometimes it does. It's just an endless variation that modern medicine still needs to unravel. No one has all the answers and I don't think in absolute terms in regard to any of this. Basically we don't know what works for our own body until we try something. Let's just hope the next generation has an easier time of this peri/meno ride....

Bfly36, I'm so happy for you and that you have a doctor that understands. Please search some of my responses regarding b/hrt and cancer. (ie - my breast surgeon's response to b/hrt usage in post mastectomy patients. He does NOT refuse hormonal supplementation. etc.) I'm doing much better since on b/hrt and wish you the best. It is indeed a difficult and complicated journed in life.

Sorry that anyone has made you think its the norm to be a sex maniac. And, please don't ever beat yourself up doing comparisons to others! And, you are absolutely correct that we should still have the ability to enjoy one of God's most precious gift. (And, that is yet another reason I supplement with b/hrt. Without it things get dry and can atrophy in the "girly parts.") And I wholeheartedly agree, Hope is a most wonderful thing.... Kind regards, JZZ

[Susy D.]

I just had to comment, because I have a really lowered sex drive, since my accident May/08, but also since my last period in late Jan./09....BUT, I am having erotic dreams ... like ones I wake up feeling so embarassed about - and have O's in my sleep, what gives with that?? I mean I have all my equipment, no surgery, but why no sex drive through the day, but in my sleep ... it is such an odd thing, and the dreams are bizarre, needless to say. I never even think of sex anymore, and get really anxious when every sitcom or movie or show has to talk about SEX SEX SEX and her not liking it and him not doing it enough - it is like the BIG ELEPHANT in my life. I feel like I am letting my husband down so much and every day vow to get interested again ... but I don't. It has been quite awhile ...

[janet c]

Oh Susy I think that means there is a great deal of hope for you! If you are having erotic dreams and actually having Os-well all is working isn't it?
It seems as though you have put a barrier up so that you no longer have any interest whilst awake. Maybe it happened during peri when quite often we do not feel in the mood due to hormone fluctuations. It can become a habit to think you aren't interested any more. That can't really be true for you because the subconscious is a very powerful thing and it is telling you that you most definitely are!
There is a very old but true saying-If you don't use it you lose it". I think it applies more in menopause than at any other time of our lives.
I would suggest you could take some time on your own-maybe in the bath and try getting yourself interested if you understand me
I certainly would not give up hope in your shoes.
Good luck

janet c

[aunti L]

We are all very different. My docs and I both agree that, for many, it is the Ratio between the hormones that is responsible for many things. I am still in peri (have periods), and supplement with bio (fda) oral and vag estradiol and testosterone.

For me, it was the E that increased lubrication, O's, and sensitivity. E also helped me with sleep and moods. The testosterone slightly (but I'd never really lost it totally) the sex drive AND gives me overall motivation to do otherthings in life. (Have lost that "blah" apathetic mood towards accomplishing goals.) Best wishes to you, JZZ

I too have been finding it harder to reach orgasm and have much libido at all - kind of scary (and annoying to see a Viagra ad every two minutes, with docs saying to us "just get used to it!") and this feeling also seems to be accompanied by very sore breasts - how they used to feel just before a period but I haven't had one in a year and a half. Has anyone experienced this? Does it seem related? Thanks!

[sicily]

My libido and ability to orgasm disappeared around 40 or 41 years old. Progesterone cream made my sex drive and ability to come come back. Had a boyfriend for awhile and it was nice to know everything was working properly again. I don't have a boyfriend anymore. Sometimes the thought of sex repulses me, but I've still got a drive/libido thanks to progesterone.

[soul survivor]

completely lost my drive about 6-7yrs ago....when i was about 48. Left my boyfriend of 5yrs as well mainly because I could
not stand the sex part anymore. It felt like that was all he talked about and it was turning me off big time.I am still not able
to relate to men on any level. They could all be removed from the face of the earth for all I care. I feel no attraction to them mentally of physically...I lead a pretty lonely life...but I just can't help it...I was not like this before in fact I was
always pretty "boy crazy"....I can't believe we have to go through all this crap...what is the point? the botton line to all of this?
Who can feel sexy with all these symptoms plaguing you 24hrs a day? I do hold on to the hope that someday I will feel different
as all things come to pass and nothing remains static forever....

be well

[Susy D.]

Oh Susy I think that means there is a great deal of hope for you! If you are having erotic dreams and actually having Os-well all is working isn't it?
It seems as though you have put a barrier up so that you no longer have any interest whilst awake. Maybe it happened during peri when quite often we do not feel in the mood due to hormone fluctuations. It can become a habit to think you aren't interested any more. That can't really be true for you because the subconscious is a very powerful thing and it is telling you that you most definitely are!
There is a very old but true saying-If you don't use it you lose it". I think it applies more in menopause than at any other time of our lives.
I would suggest you could take some time on your own-maybe in the bath and try getting yourself interested if you understand me
I certainly would not give up hope in your shoes.
Good luck

janet c

Oh, how well I know that statement of if you don't use it you lose it, as that is always my advice!! To me sex is/was fun, like a free ride at the fair - just enjoy!! So my latest attempt with my husband, ended up with us both in laughter, as we are both still in so much pain from the car accident .... but hugged and know we are still in love, and aren't worried about it - the elephant in the room was discussed and dismissed and every day I try to feel better physically. My one neck disc is now repaired from physio, and that is a big relief, my spine is in trouble but we will keep on with that and life is good. The Canadian Autumn weather takes ones breath away ... tonight I have ordered blender drinks with fresh strawberries and cream and vodka, and have a gorgeous new dressing gown - along with a vintage gorgeous nightgown I am wearing after a hot bubble bath - and am looking forward to a great weekend .... Thank you for caring Janet! My dreams make me crazy, whether they are about sex or not, I wake up exhausted most mornings - the hot flashes are decreasing, and the sadness isn't constant.
xo