loss of orgasm anyone? Options

[Perimeno]

I have not lost my sex drive yet but I probably will soon since sex only seems to lead to frustration for me.
I have not had an orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. The time before that when I did have my last orgasm (geez I hope it wasn't literally "my last") it was more like a barely-there- gasm.

I don't think I have loss of sensation..... everything pretty much feels the same but I just can't quite get there if you know what I mean. I feel like I'm almost there....... and then nothing.
After a while we just give up out of frustration.
Anyone else going through or been through this?

[diluvlabs]

One quick question -
Are you taking any meds.? Any homones. Any antidepressents? When I was taking an AD, I completely lost the ability to have an orgasm, and that usually is not a problem with me. It is better since going off, but still have some troubles with it.

THis could be a factor? If not, I am not sure why the sudden change...sorry!
Di

[Perimeno]

One quick question -
Are you taking any meds.? Any homones. Any antidepressents? When I was taking an AD, I completely lost the ability to have an orgasm, and that usually is not a problem with me. It is better since going off, but still have some troubles with it.

THis could be a factor? If not, I am not sure why the sudden change...sorry!
Di

no antidepressants or other meds. I did start using a vaginal estrogen cream about 5 months ago because of severe dryness but all was good untill about 10 days ago.

[jasminetea]

Yes, I've had that (while not on any antidepressants or other medications) and testosterone cream fixed it! I did have get my estrogen supplemented first (it keeps the testosterone receptors working) and then the addition of a small amount of T did the trick. It also increases sexual sensitivity and pleasure.

[janet c]

I am with you on that one jasmintea
I completely lost the ability to have an orgasm and indeed lost all sexual sensations after my ovaries were removed.
Since I started the testosterone at a tiny amount and local estriol cream my libido is fantastic-better than it was before my op!
Perimeno-It could be that you have used too much of the estrogen cream. I lost my ability to have an orgasm when I was using vagifem vaginal tablets.
They fixed the atrophy but they also caused side effects after a while such as palpitations and loss of libido.
Maybe you could stop the cream for a couple of weeks and see if your problem goes away. If not then a little testosterone should help.
janet c

[Oohlala]

Hi Ladies,

I am so afraid of testosterone...... I am so confused with all these hormones and how to balance them???????.... does testosterone make you horney and HAIRY? I never had to wax my lip in my life, was never a hairy person at all........ now with this peri stuff I have to do it once a week!! I also have to shave my legs a lot more often as well......... I could use a labido boost ..... but is it worth all the extra hair. I also went through that no orgasm thing for a while........ it comes and goes.... could use some help there.....
So tell more about this testosterone...........
I will check back soon!
Thanks
Carolyn

[Perimeno]

I am with you on that one jasmintea
I completely lost the ability to have an orgasm and indeed lost all sexual sensations after my ovaries were removed.
Since I started the testosterone at a tiny amount and local estriol cream my libido is fantastic-better than it was before my op!
Perimeno-It could be that you have used too much of the estrogen cream. I lost my ability to have an orgasm when I was using vagifem vaginal tablets.
They fixed the atrophy but they also caused side effects after a while such as palpitations and loss of libido.
Maybe you could stop the cream for a couple of weeks and see if your problem goes away. If not then a little testosterone should help.
janet c

where do you all find a doc to prescribe testosterone? my doc said it was not yet FDA approved for women?
I only use the estrace cream once a week so I don't think that I am getting too much. I hesitate to go without it because I did try going off it for a few weeks after 3 months of use and the dryness came back so fast and much worse than it had been before. It was unbearable. I also started leaking urine durring sneezing fits.

Also has anyone done those saliva hormone testing kits that you mail to the lab yourself? I was thinking it might be time to get my levels checked but I don't know if those sites you see online are legit? I hate to do it if it's just a waste of money. My doc only tested my LH and FSH. I wanted my estradiol and progesterone checked.

[jasminetea]

My testosterone cream comes from a compounding pharmacy, it's cheaper that way than getting one of the T products made for men. Women use a very tiny dose compared to men.

There is at least one testosterone product made for women, Estratest, (combined with estrogen) but the T dose in that is way too high.

I don't know about saliva tests. My doc did blood tests for estradiol, testosterone, free testosterone, etc. An FSH will not tell you if you're in perimenopause.

If you're not happy with your doctor you can find one who is more familiar with bioidentical hormones by getting a referral from a compounding pharmacy.

[jasminetea]

Hi Ladies,

I am so afraid of testosterone...... I am so confused with all these hormones and how to balance them???????.... does testosterone make you horney and HAIRY? I never had to wax my lip in my life, was never a hairy person at all........ now with this peri stuff I have to do it once a week!! I also have to shave my legs a lot more often as well......... I could use a labido boost ..... but is it worth all the extra hair. I also went through that no orgasm thing for a while........ it comes and goes.... could use some help there.....
So tell more about this testosterone...........
I will check back soon!
Thanks
Carolyn

T cream won't make you more hairy if it's the correct (tiny) dose. When I very briefly used a dose that was too high, I got very angry - that was the only side effect I had from too high a dose, but I was only on it a few days.

It does seem confusing trying to balance all the hormones, but hey - that's what we pay the doctors for, you don't have to figure it out yourself!

[Perimeno]

My testosterone cream comes from a compounding pharmacy, it's cheaper that way than getting one of the T products made for men. Women use a very tiny dose compared to men.

There is at least one testosterone product made for women, Estratest, (combined with estrogen) but the T dose in that is way too high.

I don't know about saliva tests. My doc did blood tests for estradiol, testosterone, free testosterone, etc. An FSH will not tell you if you're in perimenopause.

If you're not happy with your doctor you can find one who is more familiar with bioidentical hormones by getting a referral from a compounding pharmacy.

When I had my blood work just the few tests they did was 1200 dollars.... I see saliva testing is much less and it would be all I xcould afford right now.
I'm not happy with my doctor but that's a whole other story lol.
I don't know how to find a compounding pharmacy either. I am in a very rural area and there is not much around here and very limited choices for medical care.

[janet c]

Perimeno
Do you live in US?
I am in the UK and we have a new testosterone product which is only approved of in this country at present. It is called Intrinsa and is a patch to be used in conjunction with HRT. It is only approved for women who have had their ovaries removed.
I have not been using it even though I have no ovaries because I am not allowed HRT, but I asked my doctor for natural testosterone gel which is really for men.
I do know that some US doctors will prescribe it if you ask but it does have warnings on it saying it is not to be used by women.
This is because the amount women require is tiny compared to men and it is very difficult to get the dose correct.
It took me a lot of trial and error and i spent months waiting for an overdose to wear off.
I think you should be able to obtain it if you find a sympathetic doctor but be warned- you need the tiniest amount-I only use a little lentil sized dot about once a month.
When I overdosed it made me very agitated and angry and I was not interested in sex at all. At the right dose it works well.

[Perimeno]

Perimeno
Do you live in US?
I am in the UK and we have a new testosterone product which is only approved of in this country at present. It is called Intrinsa and is a patch to be used in conjunction with HRT. It is only approved for women who have had their ovaries removed.
I have not been using it even though I have no ovaries because I am not allowed HRT, but I asked my doctor for natural testosterone gel which is really for men.
I do know that some US doctors will prescribe it if you ask but it does have warnings on it saying it is not to be used by women.
This is because the amount women require is tiny compared to men and it is very difficult to get the dose correct.
It took me a lot of trial and error and i spent months waiting for an overdose to wear off.
I think you should be able to obtain it if you find a sympathetic doctor but be warned- you need the tiniest amount-I only use a little lentil sized dot about once a month.
When I overdosed it made me very agitated and angry and I was not interested in sex at all. At the right dose it works well.

Yes I'm in the USA and my doctor (who I like less and less as time goes on) said there was no testosterone approved for women. I do still have my ovaries too (and uterus)

[janet c]

No there isnt any approved for women in US- but I know for sure that you can get a gel in US called Testim and that some ladies are prescribed it.
I would think the only way is to shop around for another doctor who is more sympathetic.
Please dont give up!

[jasminetea]

When I had my blood work just the few tests they did was 1200 dollars.... I see saliva testing is much less and it would be all I xcould afford right now.
I'm not happy with my doctor but that's a whole other story lol.
I don't know how to find a compounding pharmacy either. I am in a very rural area and there is not much around here and very limited choices for medical care.

You can go to the website for the International Academy of Compounding Pharmacists and click on "Find a compounding pharmacist" at the top of the page.

Another resource is The Women's International Pharmacy - they are a mail order pharmacy that my doctor uses, and they will mail you a list of docs in your area that prescribe bioidentical hormones along with a packet of information about hormones.

Also Pete Hueseman, Power Surge's "Ask the Pharmacist", can refer you to a doctor in your area. His number is 1.800.728.0288 or you can email him. More info about Pete:

http://www.power-surge.com/asktheexperts/pharmacy.shtml

I see that at the bottom of this page they talk about saliva tests:

http://www.power-surge.com/educate/yourhormones.htm

[Perimeno]

You can go to the website for the International Academy of Compounding Pharmacists and click on "Find a compounding pharmacist" at the top of the page.

Another resource is The Women's International Pharmacy - they are a mail order pharmacy that my doctor uses, and they will mail you a list of docs in your area that prescribe bioidentical hormones along with a packet of information about hormones.

Also Pete Hueseman, Power Surge's "Ask the Pharmacist", can refer you to a doctor in your area. His number is 1.800.728.0288 or you can email him. More info about Pete:

http://www.power-surge.com/asktheexperts/pharmacy.shtml

I see that at the bottom of this page they talk about saliva tests:

http://www.power-surge.com/educate/yourhormones.htm

thanks for the links I'll check them out.

[pedilung]

I have not lost my sex drive yet but I probably will soon since sex only seems to lead to frustration for me.
I have not had an orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. The time before that when I did have my last orgasm (geez I hope it wasn't literally "my last") it was more like a barely-there- gasm.

I don't think I have loss of sensation..... everything pretty much feels the same but I just can't quite get there if you know what I mean. I feel like I'm almost there....... and then nothing.
After a while we just give up out of frustration.
Anyone else going through or been through this?

I know what you mean. Even masterbating, it takes a very long time and when it finally arrives it is a ho hum gasm. Sometimes it doesn't arrive at all. BUT, my husband is on testosterone replacement and he started researching about menopause and the lack of testosterone in women. We did a little experiment and put a drop of his gel on my wrists once a day for 3 days and that night we tried sex again to see what would happen. I wasn't expecting any change, but it was like it used to be before menopause. I have an appointment with my physician next week to discuss this matter. Any thoughts anyone?

[Provobabe]

I know what you mean. Even masterbating, it takes a very long time and when it finally arrives it is a ho hum gasm. Sometimes it doesn't arrive at all. BUT, my husband is on testosterone replacement and he started researching about menopause and the lack of testosterone in women. We did a little experiment and put a drop of his gel on my wrists once a day for 3 days and that night we tried sex again to see what would happen. I wasn't expecting any change, but it was like it used to be before menopause. I have an appointment with my physician next week to discuss this matter. Any thoughts anyone?

I have no interest in sex at all.
Louisa

[chocolatewoman99]

I have no interest in sex at all.
Louisa

I'm ALMOST glad to know someone else feels the same! Reading these posts was making me think I'm the only one not having sex. I'd sure like to change that, but on the other hand, with the pathetic little orgasms I have I sort of feel it's not worth it. So little bang for my buck. Oh yeah, my poor husband would like to change it, too, but since I'm not taking the lead when it comes to sex (as usual) nothing changes. I guess he's pretty frustrated since I used to be the one jumping him all the time. Now that I could use some help in this department...nothing. Yeah, I'm ranting here.

[corky21]

Me too. I'm in the boat with ya. The experts say it is not just hormones. It's life issues, stresses, making the time, relationship , etc. and also the hormones. Well, once my ovary went bye bye, I noticed that sensations were fading, also I had pain, and I just didn't feel like it after that. Then the relationship went sour. I never thought to look for anything to help then. But now 3 years later I'm trying to heal our relationship and so far I'm behaving better b/c I've stabilized my moods, but b/c its been so long, and b/c it still doesn't feel like it used to, I just can't get the ummph to start anything. And, I was the wild one the the relationship for like 15 years. We had a long, long run. But I know he's angry with me b/c we have no sex life but it' so hard. I read the other day on here about Damiana and Arginmax. I may try that b/f trying testosterone. I have to do something soon.

[peterpan]

I know what you mean. Even masterbating, it takes a very long time and when it finally arrives it is a ho hum gasm. Sometimes it doesn't arrive at all. BUT, my husband is on testosterone replacement and he started researching about menopause and the lack of testosterone in women. We did a little experiment and put a drop of his gel on my wrists once a day for 3 days and that night we tried sex again to see what would happen. I wasn't expecting any change, but it was like it used to be before menopause. I have an appointment with my physician next week to discuss this matter. Any thoughts anyone?

You mean one drop of the gel works? What's the name of the gel and can it be obtained from pharmacy? Do you know of any aids in liquid form that can boost libido?
Dorothy

[slowbear]

speaking of sex, or lack thereof, I am just too exhausted 24/7 to even think about it joan

[Webalina]

Since it sounds like you're getting there, but not much is going on...have you tried a vibrator? Maybe you just need a little more stimulation until the hormone situation gets into balance. My ex-guy and I used to play around with one, and while I prefer man over machine, it made a difference when I was having problems with stress or whatever. Plus it added a little spice because my guy actually got a kick out of using it on me, instead of being offended that I would want anything else.

[Canda]

I have this problem alos and its relatively recent. Its frustrating because I used to have such powerful orgasms and now its difficult to obtain one and as another poster said its ho-hum when I finally get there. I am willing to wait it out if I know its going to come back eventually but if I can get some testosterone creme in the U.S I would try it. If anyone knows how/where to get some to try please let me know.

[La*la]

Wow, what an interesting thead..

I've experienced bouts of many of the things listed. Yup. And it was indeed scary to think that I was losing my desire, capacity to orgasm..

Presently, I am feeling more engaged, I supposed...

I find myself interested at the oddest times, to the oddest situations and people..

Yet, its all good I'm ever so pleased to be back with the living, feeling something...

[Canda]

There is another orgasm thread on here and there are some women who have posted who say the ability does come back after your body regulates its hormones. The jury seems to be out on whether its lack of testosterone or lack of estrogen, however. I don't see a doc because I don't trust them and I am hoping my body knows what it is doing. I don't mind hot flashes or night sweats, both of which are mild for me, and I am not irritable anymore, that seems to have passed, but losing orgasm is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!! I am also, at the age of 48, realizing I am interested in pursuing a sexual relationship with a woman, so this is a big downer for me.

[janet c]

"The jury seems to be out on whether its lack of testosterone or lack of estrogen"

Canda
IT IS LACK OF TESTOSTERONE-DEFINITELY !
Please take my word for it. I have absolutely no estrogen in my system at all now. I had endo cancer two and a half years ago- full hyst- ovaries out and all HRT forbidden. I completely lost all sexual feelings after a year but had a course of low dose testosterone only and all my sexual feelings returned almost immediately. I now have fantastic orgasms and I still don't have any estrogen replacement. I think many women believe that estrogen is what gives the sex drive but actually it is the opposite. Estrogen especially in too high a dose binds up free testosterone and reduces libido.All estrogen is good for is plumping up the vagina and keeping it moist so that sex is comfortable. Any lady who wants to get her sex drive back-trust me-you need a tiny amount of testosterone. Estrogen is not required!
janet c

[gfmkdthkh]

If there is problem in relationship due to some sexual problem, then it can be solved. Lack of erection, loss of sex drive etc these are some sexual dysfunction. There can be causes like stress , anxiety hormones imbalance etc. Pills are helpful for sexual improvement. Many people have used them.

[bfly36]

I read this and it seems so similar to my situation. I am a survivor of Cervical Cancer and had Rad Hysterectomy when I was 29, I am now 37 and DR says NO HRT, deal with it, how cruel can they be. I get stimulated when talking about sex and even during sex, but the last few times i have had a hard time reaching the big "O". I never had a problem with Hubbie with this only unless I was tired or had a drink too many LOL!!! Im going to a DR that is a GYN and an expert on Bioidenticals tommorrow morning, WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!

[janet c]

bfly36

It is awful for you to be in this situation at such a young age!
If it is any consolation to you I had endometrial cancer over three years ago and was not allowed estrogen replacement but I was allowed testosterone a year after my surgery so I can't see why the doctors would forbid it to you now as your cancer is long in the past.
Since my all clear in March I am now also allowed estrogen but I actually don't like the way it makes me feel so I just use a tiny bit vaginally sometimes along with the testosterone and my libido is great!

I DO wish you good luck and I advise you not to give up!

Best wishes
janet c

[JZZ]

"The jury seems to be out on whether its lack of testosterone or lack of estrogen"

Canda
IT IS LACK OF TESTOSTERONE-DEFINITELY !
Please take my word for it. I have absolutely no estrogen in my system at all now. I had endo cancer two and a half years ago- full hyst- ovaries out and all HRT forbidden. I completely lost all sexual feelings after a year but had a course of low dose testosterone only and all my sexual feelings returned almost immediately. I now have fantastic orgasms and I still don't have any estrogen replacement. I think many women believe that estrogen is what gives the sex drive but actually it is the opposite. Estrogen especially in too high a dose binds up free testosterone and reduces libido.All estrogen is good for is plumping up the vagina and keeping it moist so that sex is comfortable. Any lady who wants to get her sex drive back-trust me-you need a tiny amount of testosterone. Estrogen is not required!
janet c

We are all very different. My docs and I both agree that, for many, it is the Ratio between the hormones that is responsible for many things. I am still in peri (have periods), and supplement with bio (fda) oral and vag estradiol and testosterone.

For me, it was the E that increased lubrication, O's, and sensitivity. E also helped me with sleep and moods. The testosterone slightly (but I'd never really lost it totally) the sex drive AND gives me overall motivation to do otherthings in life. (Have lost that "blah" apathetic mood towards accomplishing goals.) Best wishes to you, JZZ