Pain with sex!, and continues afterwards Options

[diluvlabs]

Hi Ladies,
Does anyone else have these symptoms? - My hubby and I have not had sex very frequently lately, for various reasons; the biggest one being my lack of libido and just not feeling well. Anyway, the last two attempts at intercourse have been very painful for me - to the point where I am in tears and he cannot continue. This is very frustrating for both of us. Sorry to be so graphic - but when he is in the act, it's like he is hitting a sore area inside of me, and it hurts like h***! Then, after the attempt, I am very sore, and there is much burning when urinating, but the burning is more external - feels like I have little cuts. Does this make sense to anyone??!

I am taking the very lowest form of FemHrt, so I felt like dryness is not the problem - not sure. I also have some premarin cream, but I have not been using it, did not want to get too much hormone supplement. Should I start using the cream again, to see if the pain goes away? Or is something else causing all this? I am so upset and was in tears last night, and felt so bad, like I could not make my husband happy. And it is still burning and hurting when urinating!
Any advice or words would be welcome!
thanks,
Di

[Miss Tibbs]

I'm so sorry to hear you are having this problem.

It does sound like vaginal dryness to me. You may want to have a doctor check it out--but I'll bet that is what has happened. There are also some non-hormonal lubricants that some women use--Calendula oil is mentioned often on this site--as well as Replens.

However, if you are having this symptom, it is a good indication that your estrogen levels are low--just something to keep in mind.

I hope you feel better soon.

Miss Tibbs

[cindyluone]

Yes. I have the same problem. It does feel as if the external tissue has little cuts that are irritated every time I urinate. I have even noticed a little blood at times from the irritated external area. The inner vaginal tissue feels sore as well but is not as uncomfortable as the outer part. I really am reluctant to bring it up with the doc because I have been in his office about once a month the last few months for anxiety related problems and I don't feel up to a pelvic exam. I think I will just wait this one out and use lots of KY or astroglide.

Hope it gets better. It is frustrating for both us and our hubbies for sure.

Cindy

[diluvlabs]

Thanks ladies,
I may try the lubricants and see if that helps - but I don't think it will help the pain inside of me when we have intercourse. I really don't think that part of it was caused by dryness. Like I said, I felt like he was hitting a sore whenever he moved in me (again, sorry so blunt!).
I am not due for my yearly pap exam until summer, and I hate to go in with just this one complaint. My gyn is usually patient with me, but in the last couple of years all I have done is complain about things, it seems. I guess we are all in that boat - comes with our ages!

Any other advice out there???
Di

[Perimeno]

Hi Ladies,
Does anyone else have these symptoms? - My hubby and I have not had sex very frequently lately, for various reasons; the biggest one being my lack of libido and just not feeling well. Anyway, the last two attempts at intercourse have been very painful for me - to the point where I am in tears and he cannot continue. This is very frustrating for both of us. Sorry to be so graphic - but when he is in the act, it's like he is hitting a sore area inside of me, and it hurts like h***! Then, after the attempt, I am very sore, and there is much burning when urinating, but the burning is more external - feels like I have little cuts. Does this make sense to anyone??!

I am taking the very lowest form of FemHrt, so I felt like dryness is not the problem - not sure. I also have some premarin cream, but I have not been using it, did not want to get too much hormone supplement. Should I start using the cream again, to see if the pain goes away? Or is something else causing all this? I am so upset and was in tears last night, and felt so bad, like I could not make my husband happy. And it is still burning and hurting when urinating!
Any advice or words would be welcome!
thanks,
Di

It sounds very much like vaginal atrophy, and since you already have the cream it also sounds as if a doctor has already diagnosed the atrophy, so yes you should use it. atrophy gets worse if left untreated.

[robin07]

Di

I have had the same problem as you during sex in the past at the beginning of peri. Like you it was very painful during sex. When I finally mentioned it to my doc, he recommended a smear. I was then referred to my GYN who redid the smear, examined me. After the results came back I was diagnosed with a bacterial infection and prescribed a course of antibiotics. At the same time as the painful sex problem I'd also had itching and a yeast infection which were treated separately. It's possible that you have more than one problem going on.

I put off going to see my GP at the time but if I were you I would go along and talk to someone for some peace of mind. I remember feeling relieved to know that all I needed was a course of antibiotics.

hugs
robin

[diluvlabs]

Thanks Robin,
If the extra cream and lubricants don't help, I will bite the bullet and go see my Gyn. My husband is probably ready to drag there already!
I never thought about having an infection, but it kind of makes sense now that you mentioned it. Something to check out, for sure!

Thanks again,
Di

[robin07]

Di I just had a thought. Also at the same time as this bacterial infection my GP prescribed Vagifem when I told him that painful sex was a problem. I'm pretty sure that this was after the antibiotics. I remembered that a couple of times sex had made me bleed, well not bleed exactly but there had been a pinkish discharge. I only used the vagifem twice because after the antibiotics everything seemed to calm down and sex was not a problem. I'd also been through a stressful time so that was probably not helping.

This was about 3/4 years ago. As you can see I had a lot going on at the same time.

Oh I do understand how difficult this is. I remember tensing up when we were having sex because I knew that it would be sore and penetration would be painful. I can understand that you want to bite the bullet. I did for a while because I had had laser treatment years before and was worried about what the doc would find. I was pretty stupid about it. Nowadays I'm different.

Don't know if this helps.

Hugs
robin

[caz-art]

Like Di, the last time my husband and I had sex it was painful and it felt like he hit a 'sore spot', but I wasn't
dry as such, so I couldn't understand that it hurt so much...we had to call it off because I couldn't go through with it.
It doesn't help that I lost my interest in sex a while ago, but I was hoping that I could go through with it for his sake!

I wonder, I think I have IBS which I have had for a while, but when I pass a motion it's always soft and loose and I never seem to fully cleanse my colon....would this relate to something 'blocking' the passing of a harder stool? I do sometimes feel constipated, but even though its hard to begin with it usually ends up soft and loose - could I have fibroids does anyone think?.....I haven't had a period now since August, and I'm due for a pap smear end of Jan.

I really don't want to have a colonoscopy, I've heard they're nasty, so I hope it is something simple!

Any suggestions welcome!

caz

[Bex]

"I am taking the very lowest form of FemHrt, so I felt like dryness is not the problem - not sure. I also have some premarin cream, but I have not been using it, did not want to get too much hormone supplement."

Not only can dryness be a problem, but the lack of elasticity of the vagina, as well, so that you don't stretch when your husband penetrates you. This can be extremely painful. I didn't think I had any dryness issues, but sex was very painful for me (after 10 years of being celibate, going through menopause, etc.). I also never had any children, which is also a huge issue for elasticity. The vagina becomes not only narrower, but shorter. I have started Vagifem, about one month ago, which is supposed to help the elasticity issue, but so far, I've had no results. The Vagifem is supposedly safer and less systemic than Premarin Cream. Also less messy. Is the spot where you get the pain all the way inside? Is it possible that your husband is hitting your cervix?