return to home page


The Relationship Expert  

Ask Power Surge's Relationship Expert
Steven Carter

View Steven Carter's last Transcript




Steven Carter About Steven Carter


Question of the Day

Q: hi steven, in response to dee 3/31/07, she needs to be honest with herself. From steven's book it also appears dee displays classic passive cp behaviours. This guy hurt you and you're being "nice"? if it was "nice" the card would have been enough. but the follow up implies she's looking for something more. Based on all the descriptions of cp behaviour, that will only drive him further away and keep dee stuck in something. frankly, dee's being somewhat manipulative and he clearly senses that. letting go is hard. sometimes you have to admit you've lost and walk away. no shame in that unless you dwell on it, then you need help in dealing with the loss the way i've sought it out. No short-cuts to healing dee. sorry if that's not "nice".

A: Frankly, I don't even think a card is appropriate. The guy destroys you and you're still trying to be "nice"? Still sending cards? Why not make chocolate chip cookies and offer to clean his house? To me, it's all very "off". Don't you agree? Dee does need to examine her motives comprehensively. When someone shatters your universe you don't try to be a nice person. You try to get them out of your life and give yourself a chance to heal. In fact, your only chance is to get them out of your life. Keeping them on your greeting card list is self-destructive. And naively manipulative.
Thanks for your p.o.v.. I'll pass it on.

Steven Carter
Relationship expert and author of 20 books, including the New York Times bestseller "Men Who Can't Love" ... and "He's Scared, She's Scared", "What Smart Women Know", "Men Like Women Who Like Themselves", "Getting To Commitment" and "This Is How Love Works" and his newest, Help! I'm In Love With A Narcissist

Read Steven Carter's guest transcripts on Power Surge.

Submit Your Question

View the Relationship Expert's Archives Before Posting.

Search for Questions in Archive

Visit the Relationship Issues Message Boards
Limit question to 800 characters.
Include your E.mail address, or your
question will not be answered.
Please read our disclaimer.

(Give Your First Name Only)
Your Name:
Your E-mail:

Enter the security code shown below *



Code:


* This is to prevent unauthorized automated scripts

  


Ask the Pharmacists / Ask The Revival Soy Doctor / Ask Gyn, Dr. Warner / Ask The Psychiatrist
Ask The Intimacy Doctor/ Ask The Weight Disorders Expert / Dear Dearest / All The Experts / Disclaimer / HOME