Q: Finished with cp 3 months ago after 2 year relationship. She sabotaged the realtionship to push me to end which I did. Since break up I have tried to distance myself only for her to contact me every few days. Everytime I see her she confesses her love and how she wants to be married and have children with me. She just says she is "not ready for a relationship yet" but will be in 6 months but dont wait for me!!! she admitted to going on a date last week only to come to me after because it didnt go well, starting up a sexual relatioship again and telling me how much she misses me and wants a future with me! how do I best go about properly walking away and making sure she knows this? I take it, it is usual for cp to be so full on about having a future when they are not in the relationship?

A: Always full on when they are full out.
You need to get her away from you for good because no good will ever come of this. Tell her that you can not heal with this constant contact from her and that you need time to be alone -- completely alone -- no phone calls, no emails, no letter, no visits, no nothing. Tell her you need this to heal and that it is non-negotiable and because she only wants the best for you (hah!) she will certainly understand. Then pull the plug on this and shut it down because if you don't you'll be tortured ad infinitum. You don't owe her anything but you owe yourself a chance to recover. You're in control here if you make that choice. Time for you to be the boss and tell her you need to let her go.

Steven Carter
Relationship expert and author of 20 books, including the New York Times bestseller "Men Who Can't Love" ... and "He's Scared, She's Scared", "What Smart Women Know", "Men Like Women Who Like Themselves", "Getting To Commitment" and "This Is How Love Works" and his newest, Help! I'm In Love With A Narcissist

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